Thank goodness we spotted the "Eye Power" on Dvice before getting on
the table. According to its Japanese distributor, this miracle device
uses "ultrasonic technology" to fix near-sightedness and myopia (at least
the physical kind, anyway). Just peer the offending orb into this thing
for 10 minutes, and you can finally toss those Coke-bottle lenses. That
should help with the rigorous challenges you'll face as a contestant on
Fear Factor, as we suspect that this is the only kind of person who'd
be willing to risk their eyesight on something like this. Or maybe you'd
be better off with blurry vision before encountering that plate of pig
entrails for lunch.