If you'd like to comment on my site, go to Cathy Seipp's site and stick your comment in anywhere. She won't mind.
A Fly On The Wall writes Cathy: "Is Luke dying his hair? It seems rather dark. And why is he hiding behind Nancy in that strange sideways pose like he's trying to hide something? Is he getting fat? He also looks like he's doing something rather perverse with the poor porcine creature. Nancy looks fabulous, as always."
Cathy Seipp writes: "There is a faintly Eddie Munster-ish aspect to this picture, but...Oh, geez, now you've got me doing it. Come on, you guys! You're going to give Luke a complex. He's really very good-looking and is an addiction to Grecian Formula really such a crime?"
Luke Y. Thompson writes: "Well, it is a double standard if he tells certain people who share his name that hair dye is for "women and homos.""
Cathy writes: "I'll say, LYT. LF is SO BUSTED!!!"
I was out with a woman tonight and she noted that the hair on the back of my head is grey while the rest is dark.
Luke writes: "Grecian Formula is not hair dye. Mobsters use it and they're not fairies."
AFOTW writes: "I know an actual, honest-to-God mobster. He does not wear Grecian Formula. He wears just a bit of gel. With Grecian Formula, you get an oil slick on your car headrest and on your pillows at home."
Jordan writes: "Is Luke's hair thinning? He should try propecia to stop it, since his hair is one of his best traits. The downside is that propecia tends to suppress the libido and grow breasts on men."
Luke: Yes, my hair is thinning and I spend $55 every three months on this snake oil hair kit from Supercuts. Also, Grecian Formula says it makes your hair look thicker. I wonder if it can also make other parts of me look thicker.
Cecile writes: "You will only look younger! The in cut for teenage boys these days is to shave their heads so they look like gangstas. Look on the bright side: with your passable skin, people will mistake you for a teenage boy or wannabe!"
Jordan writes: "I've read on the web that monkey urine works, if vigorously massaged in. Something to do with it neutralizing certain male hormones. But it has to be fresh to work, and getting a good supply isn't easy. If you have a friend who is a vet, maybe that's how you could get some, and you could ask Cathy to keep tabs on your scalp to see if it is working."
DEA writes: Luke needs to:
1. wear lighter colored shirts (I know, this involves more frequent laundering episodes, but it'll do wonders for your complexion, dear boy)
2. let his hair grey out (this to increase his "distinguished" factor, and lend (albeit shaky) credibility to his moral leader-ness)
3. lay off the pork! that pose is decidedly non-kosher!
Bob writes: With Penthouse magazine in bankruptcy now maybe Luke could pick up Bob Guccione's toupee on the cheap? Or maybe adopt a larger yarmulke to cover his follicles' recession? Just a thought.
I talked by phone with the author of this site Monday evening, Ashley O'Dell, shortly before Passover. She was upset with a poorly done b------ article in the newspaper of her alma mater. I wanted to know how she would do it better. She said she'd interview experts.
Ashley O'Dell writes later:
The Winner Takes It All
LF.net London Bureau chief Jackie Di took in Mami Mia, the ABBA musical, last night. She reports:
Who's going to drive you home tonight?
I love the song "Drive" by The Cars. It overwhelms me with vivid memories from my 19th year.
I told one friend how much I wanted that song. That it was not available on the AOL music service I pay for. (I've bought about 100 CDs in my life and have downloaded illegally about 20.) My friend located the song and album within a couple of minutes. He mocked me for my ineptitude with Internet music. I told him several times how much I wanted that song. He ignored me.
That friend is no longer in my life (though that was only the last straw).
I mentioned to another friend my love for this particular song. After Passover, it was in my email in-box.
Who's gonna tell you when
I spent the year after high school in Gladstone, Australia, with my older brother Paul. I met these twin brunette 16-year old sisters (LeeAnne and Rachel) who worked 100 yards up the street from my brother's office.
I fell in love with Rachel.
One long weekend, my brother went away. I had his car to myself. I could not work up the courage to ask Rachel out. I went home Friday evening discouraged. Then I decided to drive the 30 minutes into Gladstone to a nightclub. Sad after a couple of hours, I walked out and up the street.
My heart leapt. I saw Rachel and a friend walking out a school play. I was overwhelmed with emotion. Scared, I crossed to the other side of the street.
"Luke!" Rachel called out. I smiled and ran to her.
We walked down the street to the jetty and out to the edge of the harbor. We talked for over an hour. It was glorious. I volunteered to drive Rachel home.
It was a ten minute drive. The radio played "Drive." We loved it. I asked her out to a party thrown by my brother's girlfriend Sue Sunday night. She said yes. She wrote down her phone number for me on a gum wrapper.
Sunday she called back and canceled. Later I learned that her parents had confused Paul's Sue with another Sue of a bad reputation.
The next week, I called Rachel to ask her out that night. She wasn't in. I talked to LeeAnne and asked her out.
"I thought you were interested in Rachel?" she asked.
"I'm just looking to go out," I replied.
I picked LeeAnne up a couple of hours later.
After the party, I drove to the beach and we lay in the sand and watched the sun rise. It was the latest LeeAnne had ever been out.
I never got to go out with either of them again. I'd made a strategical blunder.
I saw them frequently however. They got boyfriends. I played soccer against one of them. I tried awfully hard to distinguish myself on the sporting field to grab Rachel's attention but failed.
I was last in Gladstone in 2000. I asked about the twins. They'd married. One of them died in a car accident. My brother didn't know which one.
A few weeks later, I visited my parents' home for the last time. They were selling it and moving back to Australia. In my box of stuff was the gum wrapper with Rachel's phone number scrawled on it.
I realized it was time to throw it out.
Who's going to drive you home tonight?
Luke Gets Mail
Everything that influences how human beings behave is important. Pop culture influences how people behave. Ergo, pop culture, to the extent it influences human behavior, is important to me and to G-d.
If the work of an immoral artist moves people to do good, then that art is morally good (though it may be aesthetically flawed) and the artist deserves some moral credit.
At times, Philip Roth and Saul Bellow beautifully illuminate what it means to be human. If more rabbis were as clued in to what it means to be human as these men, these infinitely more moral rabbis would do greater good. I find most rabbis (and other clergy) a giant crushing bore. Therefore their learning and moral rectitude does limited good.
Rabbi David Wolpe is an enormously effective preacher because he understands the evil that lurks in the human heart and doesn't dance around it.
Shakespeare and Homer and Socrates and Aristotle are as close to eternal as human beings can hope to be.
Cecile du Bois writes:
Dueling With My Dear Friend Cathy
Cathy Seipp writes:
It says in Proverbs that one should not reprove a fool, for he will hate you. Reprove a wise man and he will respect you.
I rarely reprove people.
In common with this approach, I rarely defend myself. I also rarely defend others because it rarely does any good. My friend Tiffany Stone has been trashed on a blog of late and I've raised neither my pen nor my voice to defend her because it wouldn't do her or me any good.
If someone were to say to me, "Why does Shakespeare write in such a difficult to understand manner? Why can't he write in plain English?," I would not answer such a foolish question. If someone were to say to me, "Why does Beethoven go on and on about joy in the Ninth Symphony?," I would make no reply. If someone said to me, "The Catholic church is too authoritarian and it is wrong that priests must be celibate," I would not waste my breath in response.
Now there are many questions that I would devote time to answering if I thought the person truly cared about the answer. There are profound reasons for Judaism's dietary laws (Kashrut) that have nothing to do with health or sociology but rather holiness. Holiness (separateness) is not a concept I can convey to Cathy Seipp (nor a concept that I should be arguing to anyone given my own lack of holiness). Her interest in her Jewish tradition and in religion in general is on the same level as her interest in where Monday's pig Frances Bacon pooped. Therefore, I don't respond.
For many months, I'd respond to her questions about Judaism with elaborate answers. Her typical response was, "That's stupid." Monday, when I did not articulate a reason for why Judaism forbids the consumption of certain grains on Passover, her immediate response was, "That's stupid."
Judaism does not need to prove its superiority as a way of life to Cathy Seipp. It has elevated the people who have lived it for four thousand years. I'm not going to make its case to someone who's instinctive response to a practice that she doesn't immediately understand is, "That's stupid."
Almost every woman I date is politically left of center while I am to the right of Atilla the Hun. I try to never discuss politics with women I date. When I'm asked for why Bush invaded Iraq, I say, "I don't know." I do know why but I'm not going to go down a path that will only cause hurt feelings.
I'm usually happy to listen to a hot woman talk politics or anything else her little brain desires, but I'm not going to contradict her if I have any desire of ending the evening on a happy note. As Chaim Amalek says, a real man doesn't care about a woman's politics or her other harebrained ideas so long as she's hot.
Second, it's true that I am not as fevered in my search for answers to why Judaism prescribes things as I was in my first ten years studying and practicing (to varying degrees) the tradition. Allow me this crude analogy. When one takes on a new lover, you're crazy to make love at least once a day. But a few weeks down the line, you take a more moderate approach.
The first few months you have a wonderful romantic relationship, you might constantly inquire of your lover, "Why do you do this?" After a while, you realize your love is a wonderful person, worthy of respect, and you don't feel the need to question her as much.
Judaism has proved itself to me. I'm more at peace with it. Parts of it that perturbed me years ago (its seeming irrationality and inhumanity) no longer bother me as much.
Third, I'm less eager to engage in apologetics than I once was because it rarely does any good.
Four. It's cute to watch Cathy opine on a 4000-year old tradition she knows nothing about. How would she know if asking questions is integral to the tradition? In fact, that assertion of hers is largely false. Within Orthodox circles, only a tightly prescribed number of questions are socially acceptable, and outside of Orthodoxy, there are only a tiny number of people who have enough knowledge of Judaism's texts to be able to seek answers. Most Reform rabbis, for instance, have a helluva time reading the Torah aloud in Hebrew. Ergo, the overwhelming majority of Reform rabbis lack the language skills to read the texts of their tradition. Conservative rabbis aren't much better.
Orthodox rabbis aren't much better either. The standards for becoming a rabbi within Orthodoxy vary dramatically. Many, perhaps most, of the most learned Orthodox Jews are not rabbis and many if not most Orthodox rabbis are not particularly learned. A true scholar of Torah typically disdains becoming a member of the rabbinate (too vocational, not scholarly).
Another example of the unthinking nature of Orthodox Judaism is the tiny number of important social thinkers (novelists, journalists, essayists) who've come out of it. Orthodox Jews tend to have very little to say to the world about how it should conduct its affairs. They also offer few insights into how people and cultures work. Pick up an Orthodox Jewish publication and struggle with the poor quality of its English. Please name a living aesthetically pleasing Orthodox writer (yes, I know the Rambam 800 years ago wrote the Mishna Torah in beautiful Mishnaic Hebrew).
Most rabbis are as happy to receive challenging uncomfortable questions from their congregants as are priests, imams and pastors. That is, a distinct minority. The overwhelming majority of people who practice Judaism do it in an unthinking manner. The more you practice Judaism, the less you intellectually challenge it. The more you intellectually probe Judaism or any faith, the less likely you are to practice it, and the less likely it is that you will have grandchildren who practice your faith.
Few people come to religion as the result of an empirical rational road to truth (though that is precisely how I believe I came to Judaism).
If Cathy is truly curious about why Judaism prescribes certain things, she can use the same ingenuity she displays in the pursuit of a story. But the truth is, frankly, my dear, Cathy Seipp doesn't give a damn about things Jewish. It's just fodder for her amusement, just another opportunity to prove her superior intellect. Cathy believes that she knows more about life than 4000 years of the wisest minds in the world. So when she doesn't immediately understand a Jewish practice, she doesn't hesitate to label it stupid. That's Cathy. That's why I love her so. Her need to be right is so cute. It never ceases to amaze me. That chutzpah.
Joy writes Luke: "I enjoy your skew on life, but I have a question. I know you consider yourself Orthodox, but how can you, when you eat traif, date non-Jews and [apparently] have sex with some of them."
I wish I could install a moron blocker on this site so I wouldn't have to keep dealing with questions like these when the answers are so bleedingly obvious on every bloody page I write about myself.
Nobody with an IQ under 120 or who reads fewer than ten books a year is allowed to read this site. I leave many sharp knives laying around and you could get hurt.
That above paragraph, boys and girls, is an example of metaphor.
I always feel reduced to second grade when I answer such questions as Joy's. But here's my response: Any references I make to my great religiosity are ironic.
I wish I could give my American readers an irony transplant. I wish I could educate them on how to read different literary forms. For instance, one approaches a love letter differently from a telephone bill. I've often thought of using different colors to distinguish different types of prose -- opinion, reporting, sarcasm, satire, irony, diary, a cry from the heart...
In short, when a donkey looks into a blog, you can not expect an angel to look out.
PS. A couple of weeks ago, Cathy Seipp posted on her blog that anyone who wanted a "No Loh, No Dough" sticker could write to my P.O. Box (Cathy does not have one) for a free one. Nobody wrote in.
PPS. People often ask me to create a comments section for my website. If you want to leave a comment, either email me or post your comment on Cathy Seipp's blog. Just stick it in there anywhere. She won't mind. She likes the action.
PPS. I get an email from Cathy Seipp. She has the bottom half of a duplex for rent. "Will consider small, quiet pets. So if you know anyone....but be aware that I only consider quiet, clean, responsible tenants with good credit and decent incomes who are never, never, never late with the rent."
I find commerce vulgar, entirely unsuitable for a sensitive artist such as myself. I wonder what else Bourgeois Cathy has for rent?
A Perfect Lunch
Nancy Rommelmann writes on her blog:
Pulitzer Prizes Awarded
I am curious why anyone sees any correlation between Pulitzers and merit? Walter Duranty from The New York Times in the 1930s won a Pulitzer for claiming that a famine that was killing millions did not exist. The prize has never been rescinded. Janet Cooke at the WP won one for a fabricated story. I'm truly curious why anyone gives a hoot about an Oscar or a Pulitzer or an Emmy? I suspect empty people are seeking to latch on to something to give their lives meaning. If you know in your marrow that you are doing work with meaning, then these prizes have little importance.
Rape Over Lunch
I had lunch with friends at a mansion in Hancock Park. With the sandwiches and soup, we discussed rape.
"When does no mean no?" I asked.
Woman: "It's been so long since I said no, I don't know."
Let's say a woman takes an illegal drug before going out on a date. Then gets bombed. Ends up at the guy's place. Asks to stay the night. While she's half-passed out, he has sex with her. Is that rape? Maybe.
What if she's attacked but an intruder but is not penetrated. Is that rape? No, that's an attack.
What if she's...
How Come All Palestinian Suicide Bombers Are Muslim?
Dennis Prager says: About a third of Palestinians are Christian. So how come all Palestinian suicide bombers are Muslim? Christians are equally occupied by Israel.
Because something is seriously wrong within Islam. The reason for Islamic terror is to create an Islamic state wherever possible. There's a violent faction within Islam that wants to take over the world.
The Women Behind Luke: They Promote and Defend, Nudge, Revere and Defer
Heather Mac Donald writes Luke: "Women should ALWAYS be behind men, especially those whose moral authority is greatly strengthened by having sources who actually know the proper use of "reticent." National security advice of the week: Avoid tapas bars. Am collecting more immigrant gang crime stories than I can possibly use for upcoming catfight with Tamar."
Does No Always Mean No?
If it does, then I am a rapist.
These are fine lines. I've been with women who changed their minds in the middle of intercourse. I obeyed.
Let's say you're naked, in bed, and engaged in heavy petting. You're on top of her and an inch away from doing the deed and she's moaning, "No." Is that a real no? I have my doubts.
I've known women in that situation who would say, 'Only an inch. Just on my clit, no more.' That seemed to me at first harshly arbitrary, but I later realized that for me that boundary was completely satisfying. Anything more would've been a waste, not to mention slutty.
Afterwards, women would often moan, "We did this too soon." And we would've known each other three months.
In high school, I got the nickname "rapist." It's not fair. I was a virgin. I just liked to wrestle girls on the gymnastics bus. I was stronger than they thought.
This is messy and embarrassing stuff. I'm not proud of all my conduct here.
I once went out with a woman who was separated from her husband. I would not do that again.
In my younger days, I was aggressive. Girls would say "No!" and I'd try things anyway. Then, if they slapped my face or pushed me away, I stopped. These things are situational and unique to each pairing.
I can be so intense, I frighten people. I'm much calmer now I'm on lithium (one of the requirement to join the LA Press Club).
In my experience, most women want to feel "swept away," almost "overpowered" the first time or two with a man, and thus not fully culpable for doing the deed.
I'm on good terms with anyone I've been intimate with, so I think that argues I'm not a rapist.
Nobody I've been with has accused me of rape. I do believe, however, that there are women who've been with me and later regretted it, which is a feminist definition of rape.
I've never been with a woman and then refused to talk to her later, which I think is cruel. I've had times that I've regretted at times. My standards have frequently been low.
Dennis Prager says a gentleman always accepts "No" as no. I wouldn't know.
The last few months, I've cultivated chastity as my spiritual gift. This has spared me from these moral dilemmas.
Cathy Seipp writes (whose original blog entry and entire persona inspired my post) writes:
Graham (I once fell in love with his girlfriend over the phone and via email while he was away but I restrained myself from ever meeting her) writes:
I think I know why you were attracted to her. Because crazy chicks can be dynamite in bed while practical chicks are usually only satisfactory. A woman who is an accomplished lover is frequently not accomplished at anything else.
About a third of the women I've known intimately weren't particularly into sex and rarely if ever had orgasms with anyone but themselves.
'I've Got Good Prospects'
A friend called and blathered about his problems, such as needing a place to live.
Luke: "Let's talk about what is most important. Have you been ---- lately?"
Fred: "No. And you?"
Luke: "I have prospects."
Fred: "You always have prospects and you always flatten them."
Luke Prepares For Passover
I've been cleaning my hovel all morning, getting rid of all the schmutz. Everything smutty and impure in my life, I've emailed to Cathy Seipp.
As I take this physical inventory of my worldly belongings, and decide which to keep and which to trash and which to donate to charity, I think it is time that I also take a spiritual inventory of my relationship with you, the reader.Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have. Maybe I didn't treat you quite as I should have. Maybe I cut and pasted too often. If I made you feel second best, I'm sorry, I've tried. You were always on my mind. You were always on my mind. Maybe I didn't produce as much original material as I should've on those lonely lonely nights. Maybe I didn't update quite as often I should've. Maybe I didn't tell you all my feelings and motivations for publishing a particular story. Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died. Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. Maybe I haven't told you how much I appreciate you stopping by. Little things I should've said and done, I just never took the time. But you were always on my mind. There may be times this week and next (as I observe my religious tradition with all its grim demands) when I don't update as often as you'd like. But I have a team of writers keeping their sharp eyes on what's happening. So if I'm late, it's better than never.
I still want to be your knight in shining armor. I want to be your moral leader. There's no other love like our love. I always want you near me. I've been waiting for you for so long.
I was playing with kids today. This four year old girl punched me and gave me a black eye. The eight year old boy kicked my head and made me see stars. Then they spat on me and said I was a big fatty. They called me a lot of other names too that I can't repeat on this family website. They seemed obsessed with defecation. I think they really like me.
I tickled the boy until he burst out crying. Then the mom and I went for a walk and the two kids pedaled their tricycles. I pushed the boy hard and ran him into the girl who fell off her bike and started crying. I got her back.
Shane writes: "It's pedaled, not peddled. I pictured them selling their trikes, poor things, then you beat them up and stole their candy money."
Upright Yiddish Citizens Brigade
Amy Alkon writes: "Luke, after reading your about your work, in your early days in LA, as a Jewish gigolo, I think you're missing a major opportunity. You could be the Heidi Fleiss of the shul escort trade, matching up lonely women with suitable faux suitors. This would be very good for the team of hot young heeb men you'd have working for you, paying their way through med school while kibbitzing over kichel after services. And, of course, it's great for the women, since the best way to attract a man is to have a man already on your arm. Well, that and having huge b...... and a 22-inch waist. It would be totally legal, this Upright Yiddish Citizens Brigade of yours, since there would be absolutely no sex involved. Well, except for you. Well, except if the woman you're escorting is hot. Whaddya think?"
'I Del Olmoed over the photo of Tiffany Stone and went to Latino heaven again'
Tony Castro from the LAIndependent.com writes:
Mickey Mantle Biography
Tony Castro writes:
Who Is Cesar Chavez?
Tony Castro writes:
'I Thought You Were Del Olmoing On Us'
I was in a staff meeting the other day at Lukeford.net when one of the editors started choking and fell back in his chair. One of the reporters with a morbid sense of humor, says afterwards (the editor was okay -- just a coughing fit), "Man, there for a minute I thought you were Del Olmoing on us." Maybe that's the term we'll now use when a journalist falls dead in his office.
Monthly PMS Column - New Feature On LF.net
I feel achey and sniffly. I thought it was allergies. Then the flu. Now I realize I'm pre-menstrual. I don't think I'm going to want to sleep with you tonight.
I Was A Jewish Gigolo
There was a time when the demand for my writing talents was not as immense as it is today.
When I came to Los Angeles in 1994, I had little more than a dream of making it big. I pursued acting and modeling jobs but the work was scarce and unrenumerative. Soon I was forced to trade on my body in synagogue. I became a Jewish gigolo.
I'd charge $200 to escort middle-aged to elderly over-educated and over-weight Jewish women to functions within the Reconstructionist tribe where it helped one's status to have a hearty lad on your arm. I charged $150 for Reform functions and $100 for Conservative ones. I charged according to the degree of opprobrium I held for the particular religious movement.
I did Orthodox functions for free.
Sometimes, a rich woman, after taking me to several temples, would ask me to spend the night. Sometimes a silly old fool would lose her head and I'd get new clothes, a car, and a wrist watch. One of my gigolo pals married a woman old enough to be his mother but she gave him a Mercedes and money to gamble with. I was not so fortunate. Just a few all-expenses paid trips to the Upper West Side in Manhattan.
Then the dotcom boom crashed in 2000 and gigolo gigs were harder to come by. Luckily, I'd been honing my writing abilities so I was able to successfully transition to the position of Moral Leader, where I stand today without peer.
Bob Baker: 'hey, mother---ker, the guy is DEAD'
From February's The 8 Ball, the monthly newsletter of the Los Angeles Press Club
XXX writes Luke:
Bob Baker emails Luke from the LA Times:
I emailed back but my email is repeatedly rejected by the LA Times email system. For some reason, I'm blocked from emailing anyone at the Times.
Television Is For Morons
Saul Lieberman, the greatest Talmudist of the 20th Century, refused to allow classes in kabballah (Jewish mysticism) at the Jewish Theological Seminary (rabbinical school of Conservative Judaism). He did allow classes in the history of kabbalah. Why? He said that while kaballah is nonsense, the history of nonsense is scholarship.
I feel that way about most of popular culture. It is ephemeral, trivial and frequently demeaning. Yet, you can write profound things about sports, music, movies and television, even if your subjects are shallow.
Dawn Eden writes: "I agree that if one has something to promote, it's disingenous to refuse certain types of media coverage because they are seen as more commercial or mainstream (or geared towards a less intelligent audience) than others. Like you, I don't see any conflict in using TV when it helps me, while not indulging in it myself. It's like being a French chef and being asked to make marshmallow bunnies. People are going to watch TV anyway--they might as well be watching you. The only thing that would be dishonest would be if you promoted something that you yourself didn't believe in."
Kate Coe writes: "Well, did Dennis Miller call you, Joseph? Pay attention: When writers get to be known by more than their families, the evil mawl of popular entertainment (TV, radio, roving bands of players) began to clamor for them. The reasoning is that is someone read Cathy's wrting and liked it, then that same person might watch the TV show on which she appears. You see, Cathy is what is known as a professional writer, i.e., she gets paid to do it."
I jump in:
Kate Coe replies: "Luke Ford, "serious" thinkers who shun the glare of studio lights--whom, pray tell, would these creatures be? And how do you know them?"
Princess Tiffany: Bridget Jones of the Blogs
Luke Doomed By His Van
I stopped by a friend, Yaakov, the other day and yelled his name. He didn't look at me. I yelled again. He reluctantly turned and said hi. Now Yaakov writes: "Levi: I feel that it's my duty as your friend to tell you a hard truth: the other day when you called to me from your van I did not recognize your voice. All I saw was a beat up Mexican-serial-killer-plumbers van and I said to myself: I don't know anyone who drives a heap like that. Okay, I'm an arrogant materialistic snob. However, in spite of the old adage, we actually do buy books based on their covers, which is to say, no woman (Jewish, at least) will consider you as marriage material as long as you tool around in that thing. It's ugly, I know you want to be judged by your gentle soul, and your vast learning, and of course your shaygitz good looks, but the van, oh that van is a deal breaker."
XXX writes Luke: "That's a good friend you have there. Sometimes the truth is cold and stark like a winter in Siberia."
Khunrum writes: "Don't listen to that guy Luke. There is nothing wrong with the van. We never know where life will take us. You could end up marrying that cute Mexican honey at the dry cleaners (the one with the cute ass) renouncing Judaism and having eleven kids with her. In which case, the van would be perfect."
Why I Don't Pitch Stories And Don't Write Essays
I hate writing for other people because they make all sorts of demands on me that I don't want to meet. I've already spent about six blasted hours on this unpaid essay for Heeb magazine and I do not intend to spend another minute on it.
Dave Deutsch, humor editor for Heeb, writes:
Luke replies: "No. I already put in six hours on revisions to the essay."
David replies: "Gosh Luke, I never would have asked if I'd realized that this essay had already taken six hours from your packed schedule of ogling Persian Jewesses, groping shiksas, having lunch with Ms. Seipp, having pillow fights with her daughter, attending conservative and Conservative lectures, getting into internet feuds with deceased latinos, and having lengthy discussions with your assorted alter-egos. If only there were more Lukes Ford, for clearly there is not enough of you to go around."
Closed For Cesar Chavez's Birthday
I went to library Monday, March 29, and it said it was closed for Cesar Chavez's birthday. Ten years from now it will be closed for Frank del Olmo's birthday.
Excuse me, but how is this site not porny?
Cathy writes Joyrides: "Joseph, you're classifying Luke Ford as a "sober adult" now? Actually, if you read his blog today, you'll discover that he was there. (You're right that I wasn't...too busy trying to control the universe from universe-controlling HQ at home). Too bad you missed Luke, I know he would have enjoyed meeting you. Sounds like he hit it off with an Industry girl he met there and perhaps left before you got there."
Luke writes Cathy: "She was a woman who had nothing to do with porn but worked in software as I wrote. You are weird and catty."
Cathy replies: "It took me two days to work up enough interest to check it [[Supermodel Personals] out, but since I did, for the record I am not "catty and weird." I am candid and accurate, and you are deluded and weird."
I'm watching this movie and I identify with this scene.
A couple has been together for ten months. They have fantastic sex. One night, they can't sleep. The woman says, "Why don't we go away someplace?"
Girl: "Monterey. Wouldn't you like to go?"
Guy: "You want the truth?"
Guy: "I don't really want to go anywhere."
Girl turns away from him: "You know what you are? You are a user."
I've had this happen to me so many times. Everything's fine in the relationship (meaning the sex is good). Then she will suggest some needless expenditure of vast amounts of money and time on my part to do something that is of no interest to me. She will demand to know how I really feel. I then tell her I really don't want to do it. There will be a pause. Then she will say, "You're just using me for sex."
Soon after, the relationship disintegrates and never recovers.
Khunrum writes: "I think a lot of us are with you on this one Luke. In the begining when the errrrrr! relationship is fresh and new, one promises to take them everywhere....anywhere. We never get there of course. We keep putting it off and eventually everything gets a bit familiar and well....why spend the money? Wasn't it Gertrude Stein who said "sometimes when we get from here to there, there is no there there"...How astute. Just as your lovers do to you, ours do to us, they get fed up and move on. Oh! Well!. we eventually find another..."Honey, how about a trip to Vegas ......sometime"?"
My next complaint is that I am a sucker for movies with great reviews on the boxcover and most of them suck, such as Gerry. I did not approve of Better Luck Tomorrow. Charlotte was plodding to watch, Secretary was fine, good stuff I can play act with my dates. Gangs of New York was great.
I have a hard time telling the characters apart in asian movies.
I think physical therapist is about the hottest profession for a woman. I had an appointment today because I've had a gimpy left knee for over two months. This black woman touched me all over in a way that only a woman can. It was great and it only cost me $25. Normally I have to spend a lot more money for this amount of contact with a woman. Most times I shell out $15 for a hair cut, I don't even get to rest my head on her chest (unlike this bird I had in Australia when I was 18).
My knee is still bad but the rest of me feels much better. I think I'm going to make a follow-up appointment soon. This time I'll tell her my injury is above my knee.
While doing my washing at the laundromat, this kid I've adopted spies me, comes running up and jumps in my arms.
My Favorite Writing
Tom Wolfe writes on page 242 of his book Hooking Up:
Tell Me, Was I Wrong?
I met a nice girl. I took her to dinner. Afterwards, we drove away. She spotted a candy store. We stopped, bought candy, and sucking on our goodies, walked up the street. We paused in the entrance of an Orthodox synagogue. I put my arms around her and kissed her, sampling the apple flavor of her tongue. Was I wrong? She wasn't Jewish. I was trying to convert her, to interpenetrate her mind with the sweetness of the Torah and my kisses. I'm a fool for love, a crazy Hebe in heat.
Special Agent Dies In Mysterious Circumstances In AZ
"Thomas DeRouchey, interim special agent in charge of the Phoenix Immigration and Customs Enforcement, was on the way to an announcement of a new federal border initiative by Assistant Secretary of Homeland Security Asa Hutchinson at Davis Monthan Air Force Base."
He was shot in the head while driving and it is being ruled a suicide.
Do you know how rare that is? Rare. Check out this abstract from a forensic pathology magazine: "Suicide by means of a motor vehicle occurs more frequently than is generally realized, and may be difficult to prove. Suicide by other means while driving a motor vehicle is far less frequent. Only two cases of suicide by gunshot while driving an automobile have been previously, and recently, reported. The author reports two additional cases of suicide by gunshot while driving a motor vehicle. Each case was a young man who had been suffering from depression; who obtained a firearm apparently for the express purpose of committing suicide; and who shot himself while driving a motor vehicle on an Interstate highway. Contrary to the usual finding in a series of suicides, three of the four cases now reported each left a suicide note or notes. What is apparently a fatal single-vehicle-single-occupant vehicular mishap may in fact be a suicide at the wheel by other means. What is apparently suicide by means of motor vehicle may in fact be an attempt to disguise homicide. Medicolegal offices are urged to routinely perform complete autopsies in fatal single-vehicle-single-occupant vehicular mishaps so that cause and manner of death may be documented without question."
The odds are this guy was murdered.
There are a ton ex-CIA agents in this area. It used to house a top secret airport used by the CIA until about 1979 for flights to South America and elsewhere.
From an article in the March 27, 1991 Los Angeles Times:
Headline: Airlines Rust In Desert Waiting Better Times:
Second paragraph: "The place is called Pinal Air Park. In the 1970s, the county-owned airstrip 35 miles west of Tucson was a secret airbase for the Central Intelligence Agency. Twelve years ago, the CIA got out of airlines and sold the lease..."
I Move On Supermodel Personals
I went to the LA blogger bash at the Farmers Market Saturday night. One chick immediately catches my eye - a tall slim brunette Tara Morrisson.
I play it cool for half an hour chatting with other bloggers before making my move. I talk to her about her favorite novelist of late -- Emile Zola.
Tara started a unique site (Supermodel Personals) two weeks ago that's proved wildly popular. The religious and traditionally-minded should not view. In fact, my religious beliefs precluded me from viewing it. I just heard it was funny. Tara said so. It must be true.
The stuff that young people are into these days. I fear I'm losing touch.
I mean, what kind of mind posts a picture of some white trash chick with the caption: "Ever since I was on Girls Gone Wild, my life has been out of control. I'm just a nice country girl, working at a topless bar, until I settle down with Mr. Right. If we live together, maybe we can afford a double-wide!"
Who knew how much wickedness lay behind Tara's demure exterior.
What is Tara like in person? Shy. She doesn't say a word unless you force it out of her with deep probing literary questions.
She graduated from an arts college in Boston two years ago with a degree in photography. She works at a computer software company for digital photography -- Picassa. She's hot. She's looking for a good time.
Joseph writes on Joyrides:
Unprotected Sex At Shalhevet?
I had lunch at a friend's home. I spot a picture of a cute brunette in glasses. "Who's that?" I ask.
"She's too young for you," says my friend. "She's 17. She just got kicked out of Shalhevet for giving her boyfriend a 'movie kiss.'"
"I bet that 60% of the kids at Shalhevet have unprotected sex," chimes in another friend. "There's no sex education at the school. There's rampant drug use."
Shalhevet is the most liberal of LA's Orthodox day schools and the only one to give boys and girls the identical curriculum.
I believe Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef, leader of the Sephardim in Israel, says that a Torah Jew should boycott co-ed Jewish highschools.
Many of my friends' kids are getting kicked out of their Orthodox day schools. I'm thinking of starting up one of my own in my hovel to fill this pressing need. Would you send your kid to my school? Do I need a license for this? I tell you one thing. There will be no unprotected sex in my classrooms. All kids, from second grade on, will be handed condoms as they walk in the door. Not to use of course until they marry.
My friends say I beat to death my jokes and I try too hard.
Big Daddy Luke
I dropped off a friend at the airport today and then drove her kids to school. In the afternoon, I lined up with the other parents to pick up one kid from an Orthodox Jewish day school. She ran to the car and jumped in.
We rolled down the windows and and she blasted KIIS FM. The sun shone. I wose short sleeves, and my yarmulke. My fringes streamed behind me in the breeze. Even though I had locked myself out of my hovel and broken a table in my haste to meet my newfound daddy obligations, I felt happy.
Disinfo's Richard Metzger
I meet my friend Richard Metzger (I've known him since December 1998 when he interviewed me for a radio show on Disinfo.com, then in early 2001, he interviewed me for a Channel 4 TV series in Britain now available on DVD) for lunch Tuesday, March 23, at the Good Earth restaurant on Ventura Blvd in Studio City.
I'm dressed in jeans and a pullover while Richard's dresses smartly as always in a blazer and a nice pair of daks.
Luke: "Are you a Satanist?"
Richard: "No. I make fun of Satanists. Heavy metal teenagers on Long Island lighting candles and listening to Ozzy Osbourne records..."
Luke: "Do you think Satanism is dangerous?"
Richard: "No. I think it is silly."
Luke: "Do you believe in a deity?"
Luke: "Do you believe in one God?"
Richard: "Not necessarily. The Greeks believed in many gods..."
Luke: "Do you think there is a divine entity that is more than human projection?"
Richard: "Sure, but I don't know what it is."
Luke: "Has the divine ever spoken to you in a direct and concrete way?"
Richard: "No, but I have had occultic experiences...and drug experiences."
I order a vegetarian tostada and Richard gets a bowl of vegetable soup and half a sandwich.
Luke: "How religious was your Methodist upbringing [in Wheeling, West Virginia]?"
Luke: "At what age did you tell your family you would no longer attend church?"
Richard: "Twelve or thirteen. I never had to go to church again after that. I was going three times a week.
"I went to public school."
Richard's dad worked for the telephone company and his mom worked as an insurance adjuster for Blue Shield. His sister, 18 months younger, is a devout Methodist.
Richard lost his virginity at age 15. "There wasn't a whole lot to do except to tip cows and to read. [Disinfo] subject matter has always been my area of interest. I was interested in strange things. I lived in a town where nothing strange or glamorous or unusual ever happened. These people seemed glamorous to me. I wanted to move to New York to be part of the Andy Warhol crowd and an underground filmmaker. I was into Monty Python, Woody Allen, and then Lenny Bruce, William Burroughs, Aleister Crowley. What do these last three have in common? Drugs. So I started doing drugs at age 12. I got my hands on marijuana. I smoked it a few times and liked it. From the first time I used it to the present, I've spent about a total of six months not using marijuana daily. I've tried almost every drug. I've never shot up heroin but I have injected ketamine with a member of a satanic cult."
Luke: "How did you get kicked out of high school, just a few weeks before graduation?"
Richard: "I was smoking a bowl of hash and got a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was the Vice Principal and the track coach, who hated my guts. I was a straight A student without any effort. They wanted to make an example of me.
"I was 17. I immediately left home because I didn't feel like dealing with my dad. I went to stay with a friend of mine who was going to Sarah Lawrence College in Westchester, above New York. It was great. I was taken care of by college girls who would f--- me and give me pot. Then I returned home and informed my parents I was going to live in Amsterdam. [Singer] Nina Hagen had some songs about Amsterdam. It seemed like an incredible place for a punk rocker like me to go.
"My parents said, 'You don't even have a passport.' I said, 'Yes, I do.' They were shocked. I told them on a Wednesday and I left on Saturday. I'd worked at a grocery store and saved up money. I sold my stereo, guitar. I lived in Holland for six months. I lived in abandoned buildings. I figured I should go live in England because they at least speak English. I lived in England for 18 months."
Luke: "How did you survive financially?"
Richard: "Selling hash. I worked as an-house model [at a major department store for affluent private clients such as the Sultan of Brunei)."
Luke: "You never worked as a male prostitute?"
Richard. "No. Where did that come from? Leave it to you to ask that."
Luke: "You've never been asked that before?"
Richard: "Not while telling the story I'm telling now. No, never. I've never been asked that question.
"Then I worked at a lot of nightclubs in New York. I was the doorman at Mars. I never kept one person out of the VIP room. I'm not going to pass judgment. 'You can't come in. You two can but not you.' That's an unbelievably rude thing to do.
"I expanded into music videos and television production. I had an idea for a TV show that Showtime liked and gave me a lot of development money. I couldn't get anything going.
"I worked as a production manager for Eric Mittleman at Playboy from 1992-93. I did not see a naked girl one time while I worked for Playboy."
Luke: "What did you think of Jenny McCarthy?"
Richard: "I liked her. She was unflappable in the face of being hit on by all manner of guys who worked at Playboy. At the Grammy Awards, she dropped what she was doing and talked to me for a long time."
For six months in New York, Richard was virtually homeless. He lived in an office he rented for $100 a month or slept on the kitchen floor at a friend's place, right next to the litter box.
"I had a lot of ideas and a lot of sh---- jobs but not a lot of success. The dotcom thing came along and suddenly a lot of the ideas that I had were easy to manifest. There was money around. Disinfo.com was one of dozens of ideas I had but it was the one that got funded."
Luke: "How did you get the idea for the publishing arm of Disinfo?"
Richard: "At one point, we were owned by the Razorfish company, one of the big dotcom high fliers with a market capitalization of two billion and revenue of about $72 million. We had an amazing design team. There was an opportunity to put a book out [You Are Being Lied To]. While I was working on our first TV show for England, he worked on putting our first book out. We sat down with Adam Parfrey and picked his brains. How many should we print? Adam recommended 6,000 copies. We printed 6,000 and sold 6,000 in two weeks. You Are Being Lied To has sold over 100,000 copies.
[Book of Lies.]
"Around this time, the dotcom boom came to an end and we were wondering how we were going to keep the company afloat. Gary Baddeley made the publishing arm happen so we could fly out of the problem area. There aren't that many dotcoms that have survived. Nerve.com and us."
Luke: "Do any Christian hymns move you?"
Richard: "Not that I can think of. I remember being 20 years old and very badly wanting to be able to feel that I was saved. And just coming to the conclusion that it was only my desire for it to happen. It never did. Who wouldn't want to be touched by divine grace out of the blue? Who wouldn't want God to speak to them?"
Luke: "What is your relationship like with your parents today?"
Richard: "It's OK. I gave my dad a Disinfo T-shirt but I don't think they've looked at my DVDs, or books or website. "They've never asked to see my TV show.
"My sister is a manager at an autoparts chain."
Richard reads more than any member of his family.
He says he has friends going back to age four and has had only a couple of fallings out with longtime friends.
Luke: "What's your favorite song?"
Richard: "Right now I'm obsessed with Miles Davis from 1974-75. He was doing this dark rhythmic astral funk. The weirdest improvisational music I've heard and it is usually written off as the time that 'Miles was on drugs and was out of his mind.' It was ahead of its time."
Luke: "What are your favorite movies?"
Richard: "Wings of Desire (1987) by Wim Wenders. Performance (1970) starring Mick Jagger. Head (1968), the psychedelic movie made by The Monkees. The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976) starring David Bowie. I saw that with my mom in Wheeling when I was 11. She was mortified by the sex and nudity. It was an R-rated film. She had to take me in to see it. I was a David Bowie fanatic."
Luke: "She was pretty tolerant that she didn't make you leave. My parents would've made me leave."
Richard: "She was blindsided by it."
Luke: "Are there times when your pursuits put more strain on you than they give back to you?"
Richard: "No, not at all. I have a great job. I do what interests me. I'm able to showcase the work of people I respect and admire. This stuff is not dark. It's what I do. 'Occult' doesn't mean dark. It means hidden. Many of these techniques, heresies, gnosis, whatever you want to call it, are holdovers from the time when people would get burned at the stake for believing these things. These things don't need to be hidden any more. Nobody is going to burn you at the stake because you have a new age belief system. These things are neither light nor dark. They're neutral."
Luke: "Are there things people shouldn't think about?"
Richard: "Did you hear about that cannibal guy in Germany?"
Yes, I heard about it, and I never wanted to hear a word of it. Nor would I choose to read a word of it. I did not want that in my mind.
Richard: "I wouldn't read those articles. I'd read the headline and I knew it was some sick murder s--- and I did not need to put my head there. I find any movie with violence towards women..."
Luke: "Strange Days (1995)."
Richard: "Boom. I was just about to bring that up. I used to work with the girl [Iris] who gets killed in the end. She was a bartender. I was very fond of her. I've known her since I was 19 and to have to watch that scene... That film disgusted. You picked the example I was going to give you. I don't think things like that need to exist.
"More people watch the news if it is bad news. They've done a survey of families living side by side. The family that watches the news is more paranoid and more negative about life. They will be distrustful and believe that they live in a crime-ridden world. It's the world we live in, yes. Do we need to dwell on it? I don't."
Luke: "Have you had significant death threats?"
Richard: "No, only in the beginning. The Internet was new and people didn't know how to find what they were looking for. Disinfo was one of the first professional sites out there. In a world of darkness, a lot of moths are going to come to your flame. We'd link to an Aryan Nations site to make fun of it. They'd come to our site and make threats. We'd get email death threats. It's hard to take that seriously. Everyone's a big man on email."
Luke: "Do you feel like you are still in touch with young people?"
Richard: "I'm not young any more. I'm 38. I'm not going to listen to a young person's music. I don't enjoy books or even journalism written by people younger than I am. Mojo is a great magazine around for ten years but you start to see some 26 year old guy writing about the recording sessions for John Coltrane's Love Supreme. You weren't born then. You don't know. Our products are popular with young people.
"When I was a kid, my heroes were people who were dead. William Burroughs didn't live his life thinking, 'How do I be in tune with the Mallrats?'"
Richard's last girlfriend (of five years) was 15 years younger than him.
Luke: "Was there a day when you realized you were no longer young?"
Richard: "No. Something's on your mind.
"There was a time, about four years ago, that I pulled my back out and I put on about 20 pounds. I couldn't exercise any more. I did notice that women weren't looking at me the way they had before.
"The older I get, the more I see the folly of youthful ways of thinking. I remember being 16 and a punk rocker and Ronald Reagen was in office and I was thinking, 'They've just elected a fascist.' That's nonsense. What does a 16 year old know about anything aside from MTV and cars and whatever else they're into. Then you become older and you have to pay taxes and you have employees and have to pay taxes for them... I've never been a joiner with religion or politics. As you age, you get perspective. When you're young, you think, 'Oh, the Republicans are a bunch of Nazis.' No, they're not. There are two narrow goalposts. That's the mainstream and it's where society wants to be. Democrats and Republicans are in the same amount of wars. What's the biggest difference between Clinton and Bush? Personal style. The Europeans are so anti-Bush is because he seems like a cowboy.
"I once worked on a political campaign - for Jerry Brown. I would never do it again. It's all about personality. It's not going to change lives whether the president is John Kerry or George Bush.
"I know that you define conservatism as being proactive. That society should do things to protect itself and make things more cohesive. I agree with you that pornography is negative. But I like it. I consume it. Do I know that it is bad like cigarettes? Definitely. No matter how you slice it, when you have a drink of alcohol or smoke a cigarette, it is not good for you. Too much of that, and you're going to become an alcoholic and get lung cancer. Too much pornography and you are going to become a moral pariah or a crazed loner with a messy keyboard. Or you will become one of those guys who just don't know how to relate to women any more. There's nothing wrong with them but they can't perform with a woman. As a conservative, you might say, well, let's put some limits on that. I wouldn't say that. I don't think you can go backwards."
Luke: "What do you think should be the age of consent?"
Richard: "Eighteen but for pornography for girls, 21 or 23. How many girls when they are 21 know what they are doing when they consent to an Anabolic gangbang?"
We step outside for a walk. Richard directs us to a newsstand. I buy Rolling Stone.
Richard takes me into a poster and art shop. He discusses such artists as Joel Coleman with the owner. I know nothing about art.
Richard takes me into a shoe shop.
3:06PM. Richard takes me into a clothes store, Banana Republic. He asks for dress shirts on sale. There aren't any. We leave.
Richard says he's worn a blazer every day since third grade. He's the classic metrosexual.
We walk by Morgan Fairchild sitting at an outdoor restaurant. She looks hot. She was a fantasy object during our teens.
Cathy Seipp On CNBC
With David Horowitz and hefty travel expert Peter Greenberg.
As the camera zooms in, Cathy puts a cough drop in her mouth.
She wears a plunging red dress. She can get hardly get a word in but I guess she's there for eye candy. She does some vulcan-like gesture with her fingers when emphasizing a brief point.
Host Dennis Miller seems to spend more time giving out her lengthy blog URL than Cathy gets to speak on the show.
She smiles a lot.
Dennis calls Davey a genius.
This is the first time I've watched CNBC.
How Hot Is This?
Heather Mac Donald debated author David Cole (Terrorism and the Constitution: Sacrificing Civil Liberties in the Name of National Security) on Dennis Prager's Show March 24 on the Patriot Act.
Heather writes her dear dear friend Luke, her reason for being and her unshakeable moral foundation in an age of relativism: "Wow. You must be the only person in the country who wasn't listening to Richard Clarke; I am so grateful for your ears. David Cole is a lyin', cheatin' vermin. And they must have sprung me on him just as they sprung him on me, because in the past, he has refused to appear on the same stage with me.
"Youz quite nuts if you intend to subject that interview to a rehearing; I was desperately ad libbing in the first half with those totally arcane sections Cole was throwing out that no one but he has heard of before."
David Cole turned tail halfway through the debate and claimed he had to leave at the halfhour. He had misunderstood the producer's request for an hour long debate. I don't believe David. I think he's lying. When he saw how badly he was getting whipped, he turned tail and left.
David says he has no concern with much of the Patriot Act. "There are provisions that bar foreign nationals from entering the country based on pure speech [such as support for terrorism]. Provisions that criminalize pure speech by all of us if we provide advice or assistance to any group that the Secretary of State has labeled a terrorist group. Provisions that allow the government to deport foreign nationals based on their innocent associations with any group the Attorney General doesn't like and puts on a blacklist. Another provision allows the government to freeze anyone's assets without any notice if they are under investigation and then to defend it in court using secret evidence."
Heather: "The most important thing the Patriot Act did was to allow intelligence to be shared among all aspects of the intelligence community. Until the Patriot Act was passed, two FBI agents in the same office on the same Al Qaeda squad couldn't talk to each other about an Al Qaeda investigation if one agent were designated a criminal investigator and another was an intelligence investigator.
"Foreign nationals have no constitutional right to enter this country [or to free speech in the US]. We admit people on a discretionary basis. If we wanted to, we could say, nobody from Morocco can enter."
David: "During the McCarthy era, we engaged in ideological exclusion, keeping out people like Charlie Chaplin, because of their ideas. It's wrong, whether or not foreign nationals are entitled to First Amendment protection."
Heather: "We are engaged in an ideological battle. The spread of Islamic terrorism is through ideas. Those are weapons. If we decide that people who espouse a certain set of ideas shouldn't enter this country, that is completely the perogative of any government."
David: "We did this from 1950-1990. In 1990, the provisions for ideological exclusion were repealed by Congress. We have a strong enough country to battle on the ideological front, not by suppressing what Americans can hear and controlling the borders."
How Long Will Media Maintain Icy Wall Of Silence About Ruth Seymore's Looks?
I've been besieged to comment on the Sandra Tsing Loh firing from Santa Monica public radio station KCRW. I'd like to say for the record that both Sandra, and KCRW general manager Ruth Seymore, are handsome women and that if they were available, and I was not such a religious man...
Listen Up You Blogging Losers
He Who Will Not Be Named writes Cathy Seipp:
A Fly on the Wall writes:
Cathy Seipp writes: "No, he just has a thin annoying accent. I do think he'd be quite good on the radio, and like the idea of people shouting "Luke Ford!" during those KCRW trailers. But it's hard to imagine his...shall we say sometimes insensitive attitudes about women...fitting in with the public radio gestalt of KCRW."
Edwina Gein writes: "Well, what do you expect a good boy to do when his mother's name has been impugned? Luke always was a devoted boy, eager to do whatever it took to please his elders. Not at all like those horrible sluts . . . who are always trying to put terrible thoughts into his head."
Is 'Luke Ford' A Social Construct?
Jackie D writes Cathy Seipp: "[Luke] is very amusing, in the way that the peculiar and creepy often are."
Yolanda writes: "I am new to all this. Is this "Luke" a real person, or his he some sort of literary device you invented to help you make certain points about men?"
Cathy writes: "I am afraid he is completely real. His alter egos, however, are not."
Kate Coe writes: ""Luke Ford" is a social construct. There's a little Luke in all of us. Luke Ford is a state of mind. Luke Ford is a way of life."
Alter Egoyim writes: "We are as real as electrons can make us. I fear that you have become an enabler in Mister Ford's life (assuming he really exists)."