How come there are so many hotties in Chabad?

Even the most religious Lubavitch women frequently wear tight stylish colorful outfits in the latest fashion, luxurious sheitels, high ****-me pumps and the whole megillah. Why Lord do You tempt me so sorely like this when I only want to be Your humble servant denying needless pleasure and living for the True World, not the World of Foolishness?

I’m ready to turn my back on all things Litvish and go whole hog, all black, wear a kaputta and put on two pairs of tefillin every day and say rebbe, rebbe, rebbe if I can just have a hot 19 yo dark-haired doe-eyed Chabad bride who’s never known a man. As God is my witness. I’m tired of the world of shtus.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been chronicled by the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, 60 Minutes and Entertainment Tonight. I teach Alexander Technique in Los Angeles (see Alexander90210.com).
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