I love this book.
From page 82: Anyone can become paranoid — that is, develop an irrational fantasy of being betrayed, mocked, exploited or harmed — but we are more likely to become paranoid if we are insecure, disconnected, alone. Above all, paranoid fantasies are a response to the feeling that we are being treated with indifference.
In other words, paranoid fantasies are disturbing, but they are a defense. They protect us from a more disastrous emotional state — namely, the feeling that no one is concerned about us, that no one cares.
From page 111: Many psychoanalysts think that lovesickness is a form of regression, that in longing for intense closeness, we are like infants craving our mother’s embrace. That is why we are most at risk when we are struggling with loss or despair, or when we are lonely or isolated — it is not uncommon to fall in love during the first term of university, for example.
