Wednesday Musings

* I never think about life after death. I take it for granted that we will all get what we deserve. I don’t want grace or special treatment. I want God to give it to me straight. I want to experience all the unnecessary pain I’ve caused others and I want to experience all the good I’ve done others.

What happens after death has received almost zero attention in the Judaism I’ve experienced over the past 25 years.

Judaism focuses entirely on this life with assurances that God will judge the Afterlife.

I think the last Jewish funeral I attended was for a pornographer, Marty (in 2009) and I ended up speaking words of praise for the guy. The bloke liked me, even when everyone else in the industry hated me.

* When I overheard my father counseling people (it might go on in the living room), I was often struck by his wisdom, and I didn’t tend to agree with him about much of life.

* I told a friend a hilarious story with multiple layers of meaning and he replied, “It always comes down to f***ing with you.”

* It took me 15 minutes to give directions to a low-IQ couple. I had to spell a simple word more than a dozen times.

* I am in my peak earning years!

* Would you rather a private sex video you made go public or a private racist video you made go public? Please answer in complete sentences.

* “The more antisemitism, the more Jews will affiliate instead of assimilate,” says a friend.

* “One of the most humiliating things for the heimish is the slow realization that those they have always looks down on have a more powerful brilliance and focus than they have.” (Friend)

Chaim Amalek: This is why it is a mistake for an ehrlicher (“true”) Yid to be able to read or write or speak the language of the goy, except perhaps in matters of business. The Holy Rebbis know this, and increasingly, do not teach such nareshkeit to the kinder. BH, the politicians are willing to look the other way!

Lilian D’Or I find most people who define themselves as Heimish, can’t define it when you ask them what it means to them.

* One reason we Jews believe in reincarnation, I learned this week, is so that people can come back and pay their debts.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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