From Daniel Siegel’s book:
1. What was it like growing up? Who was in your family?
2. How did you get along with your parents early in your childhood?
How did the relationship evolve throughout your youth and up until
the present time?
3. How did your relationship with your mother and father differ
and how were they similar? Are there ways in which you try to be
like, or try not to be like, each of your parents?
4. Did you ever feel rejected or threatened by your parents? Were
there other experiences you had that felt overwhelming or traumatizing in your life, during childhood or beyond? Do any of
these experiences still feel very much alive? Do they continue
to influence your life?
5. How did your parents discipline you as a child? What impact
did they have on your childhood, and how do you feel it affects
your role as a parent now?
6. Do you recall your earliest separations from your parents?
What was it like? Did you ever have prolonged separations from
7. Did anyone significant in your life die during your childhood,
or later in your life? What was that like for you at the time, and
how does that loss affect you now?
8. How did your parents communicate with you when you were happy
and excited? Did they join with you in your enthusiasm? When
you were distressed or unhappy as a child, what would happen?
Did your father and mother respond differently to you during
these emotional times? How?
9. Was there anyone else besides your parents in your childhood who
took care of you? What was that relationship like for you? What happened to these individuals? What is it like for you when you let
others take care of your child now?
10. If you had difficult times during your childhood, where there
positive relationships in or outside your home that you could depend on during those times? How do you feel those connections
benefited you then, and how might they help you now?
11. How have your childhood experiences influenced your relationships with others as an adult? Do you find yourself
trying not to behave in certain ways because of what happened to you as a child? Do you have patterns of behaviors that you’d like
to alter but have difficulty changing?
12. What impact do you think your childhood has had on your adult
life in general, including the ways in which you think of yourself
and the ways you relate to your children? What would you like to change about the way you understand yourself and relate to others?