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I've known Aaron Biston (abi2003@sbcglobal.net) since about 1994. We're friendly. I've eaten meals at his home about a half dozen times.

I talked to him on the phone Monday, September 18, 2006, about his situation at Beth Jacob. A few months previous, he'd told me he'd been ejected from the shul.

(I emailed Rabbi Weil for comment before I published this story. I did not hear back from him. If he does comment for publication, I will put that immediately on my website.)

Aaron: "In March of 2005, [Rabbi Weil] told me to no longer pray there because I had lawsuits with a member of the shul.

"A week later, I go to the rabbi with my version. He says his decision is the same.

"In the negotiations to settle the lawsuits [in secular courts for about three years], this member of the shul wanted to make it a matter of settlement that I could no longer pray at Beth Jacob. The judge said that this is not to be negotiated.

"Those lawsuits have since been settled.

"Rabbi X [I am not using his real name] is another rabbi at Beth Jacob. He's known me for 25 years. He'll vouch for my character. Rabbi X called several rabbis and says that they said that what was done to me was not appropriate.

"My attorney wrote Rabbi Weil a letter. Nothing happened.

"In February, Jackie Mason wrote a long letter to Beth Jacob and all the board members explaining that he's known me for over 30 years and that he vouches for my character and that [the expulsion] is inappropriate. My 13-year old daughter wrote a letter saying that she's been davening at Beth Jacob since she was four. Now she's affected because she can't go there because her daddy can't go there. They have a teenage minyan that she'd like to participate in.

"I had another rabbi write a letter of halacha [Jewish law]. I sent all four letters to the board.

"The board said they convened to see if they could overrule the rabbi's decision.

"Nothing that was done to me was in writing. It was all verbal. I asked the rabbi to give it to me in writing. He said no.

"A month later, the board said they have not made a decision. They stopped returning my phone calls.

"Rabbi X says they are trying to wear down my resolve. They don't know who I am. Once I grab on to something, I never let go.

"I went to Beth Jacob three weeks ago. Rabbi Weil was not there. I went to Rabbi X's lecture. Rabbi X gave me and my daughter a hug and said you are always welcome to come to our shul.

"I go to Beth Jacob this Shabbos (Sept. 16) and I'm sitting there at the kiddish (snacks after the prayers) for half an hour. Rabbi Weil comes to me by himself and says, 'Please Mr. Biston. You must leave this shul.' I said, 'I'm sorry but you and I should not be talking to each other. You should have your attorney talk to my attorney. Please walk away.'

"He's not walking away. He's standing there. He's harassing me. He says, 'Mr. Biston, leave this shul this minute.' I said, 'You and I should not be talking, but if you insist, my daughter might be willing to talk to you. She's right next to me.'

"Rabbi Weil starts telling her what a bad man I am. That I'm sick. That I'm a thief. All these epithets other than four letter words. My daughter started to cry hysterically.

"I told him to 'Go f--- yourself.' He slapped me in my face, a light slap. I have a scratch on my face. As I'm walking out, I'm trying to walk into where Rabbi X is but Rabbi Weil and a security guard prevent me from going any further. I don't want to use any physical force.

"I walk with a cane because I had polio as a child. I was tempted to whack him in the face and kill him, but that's something beyond me.

"I went to the police. I filed a [battery] report. My daughter told the cop that Rabbi Weil slapped me.

"The community must know what kind of rabbi is running this synagogue.

"I'm considering filing a class action lawsuit against Rabbi Weil with all the [good] people he's ejected from Beth Jacob.

"I come from a family of rabbis. If you want to eject someone from a synagogue, you have to assemble a Bet Din (Jewish law court). This was not done in my case.

"I called all the Bet Dins in Los Angeles to call Rabbi Weil to a Bet Din. Nobody would take it."

Aaron says he's never been banned from a shul before. "I'm angry because I give tzeddakah (charity) to so many communities, from Aish Ha Torah to Rabbi Schwartzie's Chai Center to Chabad... I have a good name. I want to protect my name.

"Jackie Mason told me in February, 'Aaron, you are wasting your time trying to be Mr. Nice Guy, and write all these letters. You need to hire somebody to file a class action lawsuit or a libel lawsuit.'

"He gave me his partner Raoul Felder. Raoul referred me to an attorney in L.A.

"My daughter is going to a therapist now. My ex-wife is taking her to make sure she doesn't have any emotional trauma.

"If anyone has to leave, it is Rabbi Weil who must be banned from the shul.

"I plan to continue to come to Beth Jacob but I plan to come with two big black bodyguards next time.

"I'm going to Beth Jacob on Rosh Hashanah and I'm going to hand out the four letters (one from Jackie Mason, one from Aaron, one from a rabbi, etc).

"As Rabbi Weil talked to my daughter, he threatened to call the police. I think it's a civil matter, not a criminal matter. I asked the police if they would come. They said yes, you could be trespassing. Who decides if I'm trespassing? Only the board can decide that. Not the rabbi.

"I want an apology. Now I want a public apology."

From 1994 - 2001, I went irregularly (from a few times a year to every day in late 1997, early 1998 when I davened shacharit there and took a Daf Yomi class) to the Beverly Hills synagogue Beth Jacob.

With 800 members, it is the largest Orthodox shul west of the Mississippi.

In June of 2001, I was ejected from Young Israel of Century City (link) and began praying regularly at Beth Jacob.

One Sabbath morning, I heard Rabbi Steven Weil speak to the Happy Minyan (then housed at Beth Jacob) about creating a safe community and that to do that he's asked anyone (a dozen people at the time? two dozen? three dozen?) who might be a threat to stay away from the shul.

Afterwards, I pulled aside Rabbi Weil and told him that I agreed with the main idea of his speech -- that a shul should be a safe place. I told him a little bit about my story. Rabbi Weil said my situation was under review.

A few weeks later, Rabbi Weil asked me to stay away from Beth Jacob. I did. I found another shul to call home.

There are two types of organization structures for synagogues -- rabbi-run and board-run. Young Israel of Century City and Anshe Emes are run by their rabbis (Anshe is owned by the family of its rabbi). Most synagogues are run by their boards and the synagogue rabbi abides by the board's decisions.

Power can shift. For instance, five years ago at Beth Jacob, the board may have had had final word, but over the years, Rabbi Weil probably built up increasing power to the point where his word, most of the time, is law.

Bob writes:

This may be too big for you to chew. Aron Tendler is like the Rosato brothers, he is small potatoes. You could go after him, even if he was not guilty, and take him down.

Rabbi Weil is a different story. You know the old saying don't bring a knife to a gunfight? Well, when Rabbi Weil boots someone out of the shul it is not him having his kicks. He is acting as a bounty hunter for a very big macher. You take him on, you take on the macher. And if that macher should put in a call to your rabbi, you may be praying at an Agape shul soon. Watch yourself, 'cause no one else is.

I believe Rabbi Weil took over Beth Jacob in late 2000. As he did in Detroit (creating much controversy), Rabbi Weil immediately started kicking people out of Beth Jacob to create a safe community. His predecessor, Rabbi Abner Weiss, (almost?) never kicked anyone out.

Some of those ejected by Rabbi Weil in 2001 got angry and talked about going to the Jewish Journal with their complaints. No story was ever published.

There's been a growing pressure cooker of steam underneath this story of Rabbi Weil's ejections for at least five years but only now, thanks to Aaron Biston, has it blown up.

Gadi (Gary) Pickholz (gp212@columbia.edu) writes:

Luke, I just read your piece on Weil and Beth Jacob. Excellent. Kol Hakavod. Don't let the pressure get to you on this one. I have known Aaron Biston for many years, and enjoyed many a shabbat meal together. I can almost top his story with Weil, going back to December 2000 when I was there -- although I lacked the theatrics of a slapped face.

Weil has created a bizarre star chamber of throwing people out of his country club for two consistently identifiable reasons: they are divorced fathers, which as a group he openly views as a "threat to the vulnerable single women in the community" and he needs to personally protect their safety in the community and/or are in litigation with a rich member/donor of the shul.

What I did not know at the time was that he got into considerable trouble in Detroit prior to coming to LA for the very same reasons.... With impecable timing, LA suddenly opened and the rest is history.

You can quote me down to my allegations about Detriot, because I have no basis of fact that I can [not] prove from here, simply discoveries that have now come my way via the Executive of the Israel Fathers Rights Advocacy Council (IFRAC) -- the largest organization of jewish divorced fathers in the world. Weil is a real problem for IFRAC, and apparently the statistical coincidence of the hotspot goes back to the Detroit community. His statistical problem is simply way out of proportion with other mainstream modern orthodox rabbis, and we treat these rabbis like oncologists discovering that everyone on a residential block developed intestinal cancer.

You can quote me as the new chairman for 2006-8 of IFRAC that he is statistically off the scale in terms of problems of throwing divorced fathers out of his shuls, and his openly discussing with me that he needed to protect the innocent and impressionable single women of his community from the threat of divorced fathers. We still use that in our brochures as an indication of how ingrained rabbinic bigotry is within the orhtodox community despite today's divorce rates. No problem in that regard.

You can quote me that in my case he significantly attempted to interfere in the California judicial process of divorce, to an actionable degree, and it was only at the pleadings of board members that I did not pursue the matter.

You can quote me that he falsely accused me of sexual impropriety of an unstated nature with a congregant of unstated name (how convenient) in an attempt to get me out of his shul.

You can quote me that he publicized that I was withholding a get [divorce] from my ex wife in an attempt to shame me into compliance, and used that as an excuse for wanting me out of the shul to inquiring board members, when it was complete nonsense -- to the point that the Bet Din had to issue a letter to that effect because of his maliciousness, and had to instruct him to recuse himself completely from anything to do with me. He needs to listen to Bet Din, which was a strategy I comprehended that Aaron Biston has not yet grasped.

Then I left for Israel the following week, and have stayed ever since, so that matter became moot on a personal basis but kept cropping up in complaints of other divorced fathers. And like Aaron, I was involved in litigation with a major member/donor that preceded Weil by years, but while Rabbi Weiss was a far more senior and intelligent spiritual leader who insisted that in shul we all shake hands every shabbat and leave the litigation to courtrooms (a positive pressure that led to many settlements of shul member vs shul member cases, I might add), Weil was openly and unapologetically political in terms of these cases.

I actually had to discuss the matter with the then president of the shul, who was a member of the California bar. In my case, again, it became moot as I moved to the other side of the planet, but Mark conceded that Weil was miles outside of fair territory, and concurred that his behavior and actions were a real potential shul lawsuit waiting to happen -- he just wanted to make sure it was not from me. In the end I was approached by some very senior people in the shul, in addition to two of the Dayanim [judges] of my Bet din, who stated that Weil was not the "ba'al habayit" of Beth Jacob, simply the rabbi, and that he had overstepped all bounds of both halacha and decency by declaring me personna non grata. The point was underscored by my being asked again to serve as the kahal's baal tefila (I was finishing kaddish for my father at the time) so that there was a very public statement regarding my status, which was a very gracious and intelligent apology that I accepted. But that was simply because ther Bet Din came down on him like a ton of bricks in my case.

Now he is not a new rabbi, he is established. Now, for whatever reasons, the community has remained silent while he has conducted nothing short of a McCarthy witch hunt in purging over 75 people and the entire happy minyan en massse to "protect his flock" from all he does not want for any and all reasons. What is even more disconcerting, however, is that he has repeatedly purged people involved in litigation with his major donors under pretense of rabbinic concerns rather than admitting he is running a country club. This violates all halacha, this violates all guidelines of the OU and this violates all guidelines of the shul charter. It is also, most likely, an inevitable invitation for a lawsuit against the shul one day.

As I noted to him in our final conversation, after he had to sit through yet another mincha in which I was the shaliyach tzibur after his failed attempt to remove me, the opening chapter of the Zohar Bereshit notes that the Satan has no greater eweapon than convincing a man of his own self-righteousness relative to others, and that the halacha regarding a shul is explicitly that there is no knesset yisrael without the sinners of yisrael --and the sentence is intentionally vague as everyone in the shul is convinced that the OTHER guy is the sinner, not himself. Then I got on a plane to Israel and never returned.

Hope that helps, but you are still a too politically savvy for your own good stinker for ducking every single topic relating to the hot potato of divorce -- and divorced fathers in particular -- within the orthodox community today. We keep a list of those hot spots as well, and the statistical probability of your having written zero on the topic to date is as improbable as Weil's in his handling of these cases.

The Orthodox Union of America has both a va'ad hakavod and a bet din for dealing with matters within its member congregations that violate halacha or OU guidelines. They cannot turn your case down, and this is a topic well known to them. They have sanctioned Rabbis and Congregations in the past, as significant as Kenny Brander in Boca Raton (now no LONGER in Boca Raton or any pulpit after the legal liabilities he created in some cases). If you are a paid member of an OU shul and have a grievance against the Rabbi or shul in terms of its conduct under its own charter or the OU's they cannot turn you away.

The Rabbinical Council of America and Bet Din of America, on the other hand, is a farce. Stay away. We cannot find a single case in 20 years in which they ruled against a member Rabbi on any topic vs. a lay member. Any. Simply criminal. If you think the RCC is a farce, wait until you meet the RCA.

The enablers in all of this are reporters and journalists such as yourself unwilling to print Tidbits & Outrages such as judges and court appointed psychologists in Jerusalem declaring that all dati fathers are, by definition, sexual predators towards their own daughters because they have no sexual outlet in their culture after years of regular sex. How can you then be surprised when Steven Weil says the same thing as his pretense of filtering all divorced men from his shul until after they remarry and "rejoin the family values inherent in this congregation" and "cease to be a threat to the vulnerable single women in this community whom we must provide safe haven", and the majority of his congregation nod their heads in bigoted consent? Weil can only tell me that I am certainly sleeping with his female congregants because, in his eyes, it is preposterous for a "man with needs after 18 years of marital sex" to maintain abstinence, and therefore we are all guilty by default and a threat to the women he has taken under his wing...

While he was kicking out people (mainly single men) for being a threat to his community, Rabbi Steven Weil continued the annual practice of Beth Jacob of honoring sexual predator Aron Tendler. Aron would be seated Shabbos morning on the bima and Rabbi Weil would say a few laudatory words about him.

Aaron Biston (abi2003@sbcglobal.net) calls me at noon Sept 19. "My ex-wife's boyfriend sent a strong letter to Rabbi Weil. 'How dare you make my stepdaughter cry. How dare you impose upon her in public.' He called back my ex-wife to apologize. My ex-wife said, 'You have to apologize to her. It has to be in writing because she doesn't want to talk to you.'

"If anyone else has been ejected from Beth Jacob by Rabbi Weil, they should email me at abi2003@sbcglobal.net so that we can protect their rights.

"He talks about getting sexual predators out of the synagogue. People like him who kick people who are not predators out of synagogue are a menace to society. It's ethnic cleansing."

After talking to me, Aaron went home Tuesday night and found this email from Rabbi Weil sent at 11:27 a.m.

Dear Mr. Biston:

I am writing to apologize for the comments that I made to your daughter. Faced with the terrible things you were saying to me in her presence, I clearly responded inappropriately by directing comments about your character to her. I am not used to hearing the language you were using in a shul, whether directed at a rabbi or any other person. No matter how much you provoked me, however, there simply was no excuse for my response and I deeply regret making those comments.

I am writing this letter to you in spite of the complete fabrications that were attributed to you in a recent website posting. The fact is that I never touched you. The fact is that a jury found you guilty of fraud and assessed punitive damages against you. The fact is that only after the verdict was entered did you “settle” the case. The fact is that the victim of your fraud was a Beth Jacob member and you solicited that member’s investment in your fraudulent scheme on a Shabbat morning at Beth Jacob.

So that the record is clear, I stand by the initial decision to ask you to not attend Beth Jacob. It was a decision made jointly by the then president of Beth Jacob and me in accordance with a policy that had been established at Beth Jacob a number of years before. The general policy was adopted by the Executive Board and the decision with respect to you was also ultimately approved by the Executive Board.

Sincerely yours,

Rabbi Weil

Aaron disputes Rabbi Weil's statement of facts. Aaron says he was not found guilty of fraud. That no judgment was entered. That Aaron knew this member prior to coming to Beth Jacob, et al. That Aaron never discussed business with this member at shul.

Rabbi Steven Weil, Aaron Biston Lawyering Up After Their Pre-Rosh Hashanah Confrontation

Rabbi Weil insisted on having a lawyer with him when he gave an interview to the Jewish Journal's Amy Klein.

The lawyer was the last Beth Jacob president -- Mark Rohatiner.

I'm hearing sentiments that Rabbi Weil's days at Beth Jacob may be numbered though most sources tell me otherwise. Weil's in tight with the people who have money. (He recently raised $1.2 million for Israel.) The people he's ejected from the shul, such as the Happy Minyan, don't have money.

Biston may hit him and the shul with a lawsuit but this would depend on how many people join the suit to try to make the case again Weil more powerful.

Lou writes:

Luke, I think you're jumping to conclusions about Rabbi Weil lawyering up. In addition to Mark Rohatiner (note the correct spelling), Weil also had BJ's current president, Dr. Steve Tabak, present at the inteview. Tabak is a cardiologist. Does that mean Weil is also having heart trouble?

Rohatiner is a close friend of Weil, and probably a confidant/advisor as well. Why not? Rohatiner is articulate, educated, and clear-thinking. He's also the single person most responsible for hiring Weil, and has a reasonable interest in seeing his choice succeed.

I think you're also jumping to conclusions about the Happy Minyan. BJ's official line is that they needed the facilities used by the HM for the BJ youth program. You can be as cynical as you want about whether this was just a front for getting rid of a group that consisted largely of non-paying individuals and an occasional predator or two. But the fact is, the facilities formerly occupied by the HM are being utilized for BJ's expanding youth program.

And, sorry to dampen your conspiracy theories further, but one of the HM's leaders is Jeff Rohatiner, brother of Mark. Jeff is proprietor of the eponymous Jeff's that sells some of the most delicious kosher food in town. And the brothers seem to be very close.

I guess it's pretty easy to tear down a synagogue that is on the comeback trail, after spinning off about half of the Orthodox institutions in the neighborhood. But I guess a rabbi with vision and determination isn't all that interesting.

Bob writes:

I would advise your buddies to try their case in the press and not in the courts. Suing a Rabbi for ejecting a member sounds a lot like me suing my neighbor for having droopy boobs that she displays in ridiculous halter tops. Some things do not belong in court and I can bet that the Judge will throw out the case in its entirety, with prejudice and probably some Yiddish thrown in about "shander for the goyim."

I have a feeling that Rabbi Weil just has this need to control his membership. As long as he kicks out the right people, he will be fine. No shul wants to get rid of a Rabbi, unless you have a morals charge.

Bottom line is a Rabbi has to control his pulpit, or everyone suffers. Some Rabbis do it by swinging their shul to the right to get rid of independent thinkers and some swing it to the left to get rid of knuckle dragging right wingers.

With Beth Jacob and Young Israel, you have this sort of centrist stuff where, unless the Rabbi rides the herd hard, it is difficult to control. Especially in shuls like BJ and YICC where you are dealing with the wealthiest people in the City. Some form of domination by the rabbi is probably necessary.

The Taming Of Orthodox Judaism

10/16/06: It used to be the Orthodox tradition to get wasted on Simchat Torah and dance with Torah scrolls. Now an increasing number of shuls (such as Bnai David Judea and Young Israel of Century City) are going dry.

Chabad still loves to drink to excess. At Bais Bezalel, they wanted to dance only with themselves, but due to their interest in kiruv (outreach) they reluctantly let a few outsiders into the line.

I walked past Beth Jacob at 9:30 p.m. It was shut. It was about the only shul in the neighborhood that was. Everyone else was spilling out into the street with joy.

When my lust got the better of me, I headed over the Shtible minyan (Conservative) to observe the combustible combination of alcohol and mixed dancing.

After nobody had sex on a Torah scroll, I left.

Sunday. "Please don't get rid of Rabbi Weil," says a friend. "Put a chink in his armor, fine."

Another friend says: "You are the most cynical regular shul-goer I know."

I tell a rabbi: "I am sorry for mocking you for your orientation."

After the first dance with the Torah, my joy is incomplete knowing that a friend is sitting at home watching football. I walk over to his apartment, sit down with him, and pretend to enjoy the game.

I encourage him to return to God and mitzvos, then, at the end of the first quarter, I return to shul.

The mood in shul is happy. We sing, we dance, we clap our hands, and we eat well.

Kiddish. I warn a rebbetzin not to look at the Clancy Sigal memoir I'm reading.

"I'm glad I'm sitting with you," she says. "My family treats me like a bubbe [grandmother]. You treat me like a woman who can be corrupted."

EscapeToElmCity blogs: "I'm handing over the reins to Luke Ford today because there's no way I could out-snark his Simchat Torah entry (I tried but it was useless). I laughed so hard I had the hiccups for half an hour."

12/7/06

Getting kicked out of shul

The front page of Friday's Jewish Journal covers the Aaron Biston Vs. Rabbi Steven Weil fight along with lots of socially redeeming quotes from rabbis.

Amy Klein writes in the December 8, 2006 issue:

Biston's public airing of his story and his threat to file suit have brought to light a number of complaints from others who also have been asked to leave Beth Jacob. They claim the rabbi is autocratic and mercurial and bars people who don't fit his image of an appropriate congregant.

...[Weil] spoke to The Journal in the company of synagogue president Dr. Steve Tabak and former synagogue president Marc Rohatiner. Together they openly discussed the half-dozen people who have been banned from their shul.

...The other individuals include someone alleged to have sexually harassed a synagogue member, a man alleged to have behaved inappropriately with children, a woman alleged to have stalked a member with whom she believed she had a relationship and a man who, shortly before being asked to leave the shul, was convicted of pedophilia.

I think I'm the one who sexually harassed the synagogue member. I think I said some naughty words to this woman (and others) about eight years ago, before I understood and internalized the profundity of the Torah.

...Despite the recent allegations against him, Weil's vision for the synagogue has proven results. When he came to Beth Jacob from Detroit in 1999, the congregation had between 400 and 500 member families, about 50 of them families with children. Now, some eight years later, Beth Jacob membership has almost doubled, with more than 800 family units -- some 200 of them with children and teenagers -- making it the largest Orthodox congregation on the West Coast.

...As a result of the public airing of the ejection of Biston and others, [former Beth Jacob president Marc] Rohatiner said that one change will be made: The executive board will deal with these cases.

"It's beneath the rabbi's position to ask these people to leave," Rohatiner said. "That's not what we're about."

June 19, 2007

One of the cool things about this fight is that one of the parties is a very big liar. Biston alleges Weil smacked him. Biston's daughter backs up this claim. Biston immediately went to the police. Biston claims to have photographic evidence of the damage inflicted to his face by Weil.

Weil claims he did not touch Biston.

Someone's lying.

Somehow the image of a high-powered rabbi smacking his congregant during kiddush is hauntingly beautiful one, particularly when it leads to a lawsuit.

A real kiddush hashem (sanctification of the name).

Common sense suggests to me that in this case that Rabbi Weil is lying.

I know that he lied to me when we had dealings in 2001. He told me we'd have a meeting before a decision was made about whether or not I could continue to attend Beth Jacob. He said I'd have a chance to present my side of things.

This never happened.

He booted me in October 2001 without a meeting, without ever getting my side.

When questioned about his decision in the months afterwards, Rabbi Weil said that a woman (or two) had complained that I had spoken to her in a sexual manner circa 1995.

I suspect that that accusation against me is true. If you want more information about my transgressions, watch the movie You, Me And DuPree. My Hebrew name is Randy DuPree.

From LASuperiorCourt.org:

Case Number: SC093458
AARON BISTON ET. AL. VS. RABBI STEVEN A. WEIL ET. AL.

Filing Date: 04/05/2007
Case Type: Intentional PI/PD/WD (eg. assault) (General Jurisdiction)
Status: Pending

Future Hearings

07/19/2007 at 08:46 am in department WEJ at 1725 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA 90401
Hearing on Demurrer (/MOTION TO STRIKE)

07/30/2007 at 08:45 am in department WEJ at 1725 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA 90401
Initial Status Conference

Parties

BETH JACOB CONGREGATION-BEVERLY HILLS - Defendant

BISTON AARON - Plaintiff

BISTON ALEXANDRA - Plaintiff

CUNNINGHAM MARK G. A PROFESSIONAL CORP - Attorney for Defendant

STEINBERGER JEFFREY W. LAW OFFICES OF - Attorney for Plaintiff

WEIL RABBI STEVEN A. - Defendent

Documents Filed (Filing dates listed in descending order)

05/18/2007 Demurrer
Filed by Attorney for Defendant

05/18/2007 Motion to Strike
Filed by Attorney for Defendant

04/05/2007 Complaint Filed