Friday. 8 a.m. Four Seasons Hotel on Doheny Dr. in Beverly Hills.
I note with satisfaction that David Horowitz's assistant Michael Finch (the longest lasting? certainly the most easygoing Horowitz assistant) has ceased cutting himself. But the scars of working for David remain.
David's other assistant, Elizabeth, is late because she's getting a facial peel.
Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Michael claims he's never had a facial, facial peel, pedicure or manicure.
He's been sleeping well. It's his wife who bears the brunt of getting up at night to look after their 12-pound infant.
I had a girl who wanted to buy me a lavender facial spray and I really want it but I resist her offer because it's too swishy and my credentials with the Republican Jewish Coalition might be rescinded.
I find it hard to get going in the morning without an invigorating round of, "You know you're gay because..."
I sip my peppermint tea and eat fruit. My figure has been bulging alarmingly around my stomach of late. That damn lithium.
I remember what it was like to be with a woman. It was good. I want to go to that promised land across the Jordan River once more. I thought the LA Weekly cover and VH1 appearance would do it but no luck.
I'm gonna join that immigrant protest Monday because those things attract hot chicks.
I can forgive a woman for her misguided political views as long as she's hot.
Really, you know you're gay when you start refusing hot women because of their politics.
I'm determined to raise the tone of political discourse on the web.
The Prostate Cancer Review meets in the grand ballroom where the Wednesday Morning Club meets. Shelby Steele speaks to the WMC May 18.
Despite advertising to the contrary, Center Breakfast Clubs are not great places to meet hot chix in their twenties. But they are great places for a free prostate exam and to compare notes on dribbling vs a full healthy stream.
There's a full healthy stream of people pouring into our breakfast looking for the prostate cancer meeting. At least one person signs up for our breakfast.
I'm able to provide moral guidance to an impressionable friend that the hotties at our breakfast are very married.
I make a gentleman's wager with a mate over who will be the first to seduce Tammy Bruce the lesbian (she interviews Dr. Wafa Sultan May 3 for the WMC, four security guards have been hired for the evening).
Dr. Trifkovic says that no religious Muslim can be fully loyal to the United States and its oath of citizenship because Islam requires him to give his utmost loyalty to Sharia (Islamic law) and Islamic world domination.
Couldn't you make a similar argument about religious Jews? Their ultimate loyalty has to be to God, Torah and the Jewish people? We don't seek world domination except for ethical monotheism, which should rule.
Serge says that in France more people will go to mosque on Friday than church on Sunday.
Serge says porn and decadent western values won't moderate Muslim immigrants. In their search for meaning, in their frustration at being on the bottom rung of Western society, they're more fanatically devoted to their religion than their Arab/Muslim brothers in the homeland.
"When a Christian returns to his religion, he finds the prince of peace. When a Muslim returns to his religion, his finds Mohammed the Terrorist.
"...More democracy in the Middle East means more political Islam and more death sentences for apostates. Look at Afghanistan, Iraq, Egypt, Jordan..."
Serge says the riots in French suburbs were Muslims self-rule according to Sharia.
He says we should refuse citizenship to all Muslim activists. "No Muslim can take the US oath of allegiance in good faith. A faithful Muslim can't help but strive for the introduction of Sharia. Islam introduces a cataclysmic mindset of us vs. them. It cannot rest.
"No law enforcement agency can function effectively if it admits Muslims."
We should reform immigrations laws to refuse Jihadists.
Serge is Bosnian. He says we should embrace Russia. He advocates surgical airstrikes against Iranian nuclear facilities. No use of ground troops.
"Nothing short of a cataclysm will help the West realize the war its in [against Islam]."
Serge says we have to get over this notion that Islam is the religion of peace and our real war is against terrorism. Nope, it's against Islam.
Instead of invading Iraq and guarding the Euphrates, we should've used those resources to guard the Rio Grande.
Serge speaks for just over 30 minutes and then takes almost 30 minutes of questions.
He says the debate on immigration is depressing because everyone is talking about the economy and nobody is talking about identity and the quality of life.
I ask: "Why should we become friendlier with Russia? Isn't it becoming more of a dictatorship?"
Serge: "Let's stop once and for all judging our external affiliations on the basis of the domestic nature of that regime. The messianic notion that only with democracies can we can be friends should be denied by Brussels (center of the European Union), because the EU is becoming a dictatorship. It is mandating gay marriage, totally bypassing national assemblies. The Czech Republic four times rejected that proposal but now a court in Luxembourg is overriding that.
"Russia is not becoming a dictatorship. It's becoming more authoritarian. That's neither here nor there in the American security calculus, which supported South Korea, Singapore, Chile under General Pinochet, and various unsavory characters around the Middle East such as General Musharraf [in Pakistan]..."
Luke: "What do we get from being friendly with Russia? What's in it for us?"
Serge: "Alternative sources of energy. After Saudi Arabia, Russia has the biggest oil reserves in the world. There are enormous natural resources in Siberia. We have common [Islamic enemies]."
My friend tells me I've matured since he met me eight years ago.
I ask him if Reform Judaism was responsible for the Holocaust.
He gets all offended and claims it was Hitler's fault.
In the mens room, I shoot him a glance and ask him if he's considered doing movies.
It takes him 15 seconds to get it.
As we walk out, my friend says, "Did you see that Asian girl? Did you see how she looked at me?"
I get anxious when I arrive home and see that I'm overdue with the following library book -- How to Control Your Anxiety.