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�Among couples in their 30s and 40s, the women frequently seek a �mom�s body tuneup� (a post-childbirth breast lift, tummy tuck and lower-body liposuction),� said Barry E. DiBernardo, a plastic surgeon in Montclair, N.J. �And the husbands, who suddenly wonder how they�re going to stand next to their wives on the beach, get lipo of the chest, neck, belly and love handles, plus a hair transplant.� Couples in their 50s each order �the blue plate special,� as Mayer of Beverly Hills calls it (an eyelid-, brow- and face-lift). Although partners can bring different motivations to the surgical suite, men and women alike feel the need to stay competitive in an increasingly youth-oriented workforce, plastic surgeons say. Some, however, have moved beyond the workplace and are now facing the prospect of a comfortable and active retirement, with lots of travel � and a desire to look as good as they feel. Regardless of the motivations, mental health experts say, cosmetic procedures have the potential to backfire. Surgery can change appearance so dramatically � whether done individually or as a couple � that it throws off the dynamic of a romantic relationship. �We intuitively think that if one partner loses weight or undergoes plastic surgery, that person will feel better about him- or herself, and as a result the partner will feel better about the relationship,� said Sarwer, an associate professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. �But, in fact, things like appearance and weight actually play a much more central role in the dynamic of a relationship, which means that some partners may feel very threatened and fear that their current partner will leave them for someone else.� Couples must talk beforehand, experts say, about what each partner is personally looking to get from these procedures � and whether the expectations are realistic. �If the woman wants a face-lift because her husband is fooling around, and he wants a face-lift because his business is failing, well, they�re not going to be happy afterward because their motivations are all wrong,� said Beverly Hills surgeon Fleming. �God bless me, I hope I�d pick up on that before the surgery � because it�s not going to work.� Adds Sarwer: �There is pretty conclusive evidence that cosmetic surgery does lead to an improvement in body image�. But there is not much evidence that surgery improves self-esteem and quality of life, both of which derive from so much more than just the way we look. |
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