Sex Addict Steve, 34yo gentile, writes a sex advice column with Ari Goes Down, 32yo Jew.

He calls me Friday afternoon, December 3, 2004.

Luke: "What's your day job?"

Steve: "I am a district manager for an insurance company."

Luke: "How did you hook up with Ari Goes Down [they've never met or even spoken on the phone]?"

Steve: "I went online and put in, "sex in the city blog," and her name came up. I emailed her and she emailed me back. That's how we hatched the whole idea for the he-says, she-says thing that we do.

"When I started my blog (May 31), I looked at it as sex in the city for guys."

Luke: "Were you a regular watcher of Sex in the City?"

Steve: "I've never watched it. I know what it's about. It's one of those shows where if I watch an hour or two, I get the impression that I've seen every episode."

Luke: "Why did you start the blog?"

Steve: "A [30yo] female friend of mine found my digital camera with some compromising photos [the girl (Lila) in the photos was 17]. She said to me, I am so disgusted with you, that if you don't go to therapy for your sex problem, I'm never speaking to you again.

"The therapist, who was a total quack, said to me, I want you to go to the drugstore and buy a notebook and write down your thoughts. I thought, why don't I just get a blog and write it all down there, and give this guy the URL? I never dreamed that people would find it. Two hours after I posted my first entry, someone posted a comment, and it just snowballed."

Luke: "Do you think you are a sex addict?"

Steve: "I think I'm anti-social. I enjoy the manipulation, the pursuit and that I'm convincing someone to do something that I want."

Luke: "How many women have you slept with in your life?"

Steve: "Forty."

Luke: "How much time do you spend with pornography?"

Steve: "At least half-an-hour a day. TheHun.com is useful for that. I'll never buy another DVD again."

Luke: "Do you think porn's a problem in your life?"

Steve: "No. The only thing that has been a problem for me is resisting the urge to pursue this girl or that girl. There's a part of me that knows that this is a mistake. I know it is a mistake and I ignore that."

Luke: "What's the longest you've been monogamous?"

Steve: "When I was engaged, I was monogamous [with that girl] for two-and-a-half years. I was in my early twenties."

Luke: "Why didn't you get married?"

Steve: "I refused to set a date. I wasn't ready. We were progressing and I had just gotten laid for the first time when I was 21. I met this one when I was 22. I had just lost 50 pounds. I was not used to having anyone be attracted to me. Things were progressing. She was putting pressure on me to make things more permanent. Out of a sense of panic, and not wanting to lose her, I proposed. It was for the wrong reason and deep down inside, I knew it. When she asked me, twice, to set a date, and I put her off both times, the next thing I knew, she wouldn't take my phone call. She wouldn't see me. She wouldn't talk to me.

"I want to get married. I want to have a family."

Luke: "Do you think you can be monogamous?"

Steve, pause: "Yes. The only reason I hesitate is because I've never done it before."

Luke: "Do you find that the older you get, the younger you like 'em?"

Steve: "It's never changed. I've always... One of the ones lately was 16. It's just the idea that she's this young-looking girl, high school age. You can have a field day with the speculation that I was this big fat blob in high school that no girl would look at twice. Now I'm back trying to screw all the girls who wouldn't look at me. Remember that first video with Britney Spears when she's in the tartan skirt and the braids... She's dancing down the hallway of a high school and she's got the whole schoolgirl skirt-and-kneesocks on... And I'm thinking, any guy who looks at that has got to be turned on by that. I'm just the one who admits it and does something about it. It's like the blogger version of Eminem."

Luke: "What about pre-pubescent?"

Steve: "No. That's just gross."

Luke: "I assume you're successful in your work."

Steve: "I'm the youngest district manager in the history of the company.

"The girl I'm seeing now is 23. I met her out drinking with my friends. The one before that, she was 27, she stoppped and asked me directions."

Luke: "What are the thrills and spills of dating a 17-year old?"

Steve: "Thrills are that some of this stuff she's never done before. This [Lila] had done about everything. It's that she's young and inexperienced and you're giving her these experiences. There's an enjoyment that this person looks up to you and admires you in a way that an adults doesn't. You know the spills -- immaturity.

"When I was with Lila, she was so attractive, that anywhere I would take her, she'd get a lot of attention. It was always the wink and the high five thing.

"I was at a friend's wedding with Lila. We're on the dance floor and the bride is glaring at her. How dare you show up and be hotter than the bride? My friend was the groom. He told me later that his wife pulled him aside and said, who's the little bitch?

"That's why my [30yo female] friend told me I was out of control because she saw I was with this girl who looked like a Playboy Playmate. I think there was cattiness there."

Luke: "Do you make home videos with these girls?"

Steve: "I've made videos before. I usually watch them a few times and erase them. I don't want to end up the next Tommy Lee.

"You are the first person I've spoken to on the telephone from my blog. I have Ari's number but I've never called her.

"I've always envisioned [marriage] with someone ten years younger. I could go all the way with the [23yo] girl I'm with now. Eventually I have to get to the point where I have to know that I'm not doing any better than her. She's a law student and smart and devoted and dedicated."

Luke: "Does she read your blog?"

Steve: "No. There's only one person in the world who knows [that he writes his blog] is my therapist, who I haven't spoken to in six months."