By Luke Ford Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Seven B Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve 1994-1997 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001
In the 9/97 AVN, Jim Holliday writes about me:
But coming soon to this spot: "The disease that won't go away." This particular affliction is not HIV or some type of STD, it's a guy [Luke Ford]. Actually, more worm than man, a guy who totally violated the code and still doesn't get it. A clue? Has to do with internet abuse, misinformation pushed to the moronic power, absolute and blatant copyright infringement of this magazine and other adult sources. He's past forgiveness and still doesn't get it.
At present, the transgressions and egregious errors are being tabulated for possible future actions, but this treacherous insect, this limelight seeking poseur still doesn't get it. Probably unaware that those who violate the code of privacy get no second chance in pornoland.
Anyone dumb enough to believe that there is a giant conspiracy to hide the supposed fact that many industry women are HIV positive (involving an alleged massive cover-up), or that there are legitimate death threats on his miserable life. Much of the industry is now hip to the smarmy groveling act, the complete insincerity, the posturing of phony blithe innocence to hide the deviousness, and the squirrelly, absolukely (sic) plagiaristic mindset methodology of this dumb fuck. Rave on, idiot. And lose the funny little hat, bozo, for just as the rolling stone gathers no moss, your yarmulke garners no sympathy.
A porn star (Nena Cherry) writes me:
Date: 97-09-03 08:22:41 EDT
I dont know what bug crawled up your ass, but I would like to find out.
You must be one hell of a ugly and mean man, and I have had enough of your lies and absolute stupidity to last me a lifetime.
You and I have never met and when we do it will be in a court of law. This has gone on far and long enough. You continue to lie and spread rumors about me through those liars in LA. And you know for whatever reasons they love the fact that Im gone. And that is fine by me.
But you on the other hand are lying through your teeth. You want some attention so I will give you a moment. I never used needles. Are you ready to have a lawsuit put against you? I have my paperwork and I have a attorney and we have discussed your name as well as some others. I also have a private investigator who is researching a pending case. You just dont know when to quit.
I expect a apology from you today and even more important keep your BIG mouth shut about things you have no clue about and that is me!
You are liable for slander and I will take you to court. Back off! The past is the past.
I am not what or even who you think I am, I am bigger and better than you will ever be. I want a public apology from you.
This is what the folks at Hustler wrote. Its report about me is wrong.
FORD "ESCORTED" OUTTA RAME
Fans of porno movies - er, adult video - will want to stop by the rec.arts.movies.erotica (RAME)Usenet newsgroup. There's more action on the RAME group than in most screw vids, and many of the interaction involves personalities in the Biz.
Recently, eerie wank writer wann-be Luke Ford supposedly gave out porn stars' real names and plagiarized from some esteemed magazines(Hustler Erotic Video Guide is on of 'em ... our lawyers will be in touch, Luke baby). Well, Mr. Fraud was given Le Grande Flambe by industry insiders and "civilians" alike. See, RAME is like that - no one's afraid to speak their mind about the game we all love: smut. Use this Usenet newsgroup now.
From the 12-6-97 San Diego Sidewalk:
Mixed in is a select sprinkling of the more socially acceptable offerings, termed "erotica" or "couples erotica." These designations, according to Luke Ford, the L.A.-based author of the forthcoming "History of X," are "politically correct." He adds that "polite people, middle-class people, prefer to say erotica." Couples erotica targets heterosexual audiences, but often contains scenes with crossover appeal. It represents the softest edge of the hard-core spectrum.
Ford says, "There are waves of porn chic that sweep the country once in awhile. At times, people want for something more than just 'bang-bang.' That's when character development and plot is very appealing." That's also one of the only times when directors like Blake can make an impact on the erotica market.
A friend writes to me:
All he has to do is sing a pleasant competent ditty and not interrupt the festivity. And he has it made!
But nooooo not "Mr. Artistic integrity". As the show procedes through one too many pretty sweet sticky cliche tunes about "pure" love. He has to make a spectacle of himself and sing a dissonant throbbing hymn to the Venus of raging lust and recount publicly and in mixed company his fun time in Hell.
No even a pilgrimage barefoot to the Pope in Rome can't forgive such a gaff.
I can see that your concerned friends are madly signalling you and you are taking it as encouragement for goofy behavior. Now that finally you understand they are saying "train coming!" you, saving face, say "I'll think about it".
And the titanic task of explaining God to porn people and Porn to religious people cannot occur in a public or even social context. It is a difficult or ill conceived task anyway. Were it not for such "messianic zeal" it would be quite possible to be obsessed with a book or model airplanes or whatever.
I know an amateur scientist that has a collection of over 1000 pieces of fossilized dinosaur dung. He refrains from talking about it at the dinner table so his friends, though concerned, don't think it a crisis.
I get these emails:
Subj: Jews in Porn
Date: 97-10-14 12:23:18 EDT
You must be one of the biggest anti-zionist, racist and anti-semite of this world God created.
I don't want to say that jews are not involved in pornography. But you simply say that jews are guilty in all that material.
You must be ashamed!!! You are not worthy to make a verdict that all jews are pornographers. Forget it! Foolness is all that you have written.
May God forgive you now, cause it may be too late tomorrow! Please change your mind!
..........
Date: 97-11-10 12:31:11 EST
To: LUZDEDOS (Luke Ford)
From: Hyapatia Lee
You make absolutely no sense. (Does that mean that you are senseless?) You keep confusing the distant past with the near past and present. Why do you insist on hating me so? I was warned not to talk to you, that you would only find lies or confusing statements, and yet I gave YOU the benifit of the doubt. I even paid for the long distance phone call.
If one follows your way of thinking, I would have to refuse to do business with you because you are Jewish!!!!! Why do you insist on bringing out the worst in people, and promoting things that have happened over 15 years ago as the current way the world is???????
Regardless of what kind of crap you read and believe. Please remember, I am not a SEX WORKER, PC or otherwise. I have never refered to myself as a 'leftist'. I do not promote sex, interracial or otherwise. I have left that business …. The shit you print about me only libels you, it does not hurt me as much as you wish it did because I am not XXXXX anymore! I do not enjoy or view sex films or read the trades and I do not have any associations in the sex industry anymore at all. Go fuck yourself, (I think that is the only person you will find who would be willing to) From now on, I will not honor any of your e-mails with a reply, You are pittifully narrow-minded and I wish you wouldn't blame it on your religion as I know many nice Jewish people (and many nice black people). You need a therapist, obviously you have much anger at women and those who work in the sex industry. I get the feeling that you are such an evil person, you would enjoy innocent children being hurt
In your sick, twisted little mind, you probably justify babies being raped by what their parents have or have not done. I wish for you the death of your way of thinking. Death equals growth and rebirth in my culture. You should be in a roomful of mirrors, so that whatever energy you put out comes back to haunt you and no one else. Why don't you live your own life instead of picking on everyone elses? Is your life that terrible that you can't stand to look at it and prefer to delve into everyone elses? What a pitiful existence you must lead. Oh yes, remember, my lawyer is watching your page like a hawk.
..........
Date: 97-11-25 03:27:41 EST
From: R.Magnusson@law.(Roger Magnusson)
To: LUZDEDOS@aol.com
Luke, it's got to be said, mate. You're lonely. No one could invest so much time into erotica and voyeurism and not be lonely. Trouble is - and this is a neutral comment as far as erotica is concerned, it's just a comment - spend too much time around the sex industry and you'll probably stay lonely. (This again is an overstatement, but-) I imagine that casual relationships are part of the rules of the game, when the game is porn. In 10 years time, will you still be 100% sincere in your effort to become finely acquainted with the muff of yet another 18 year old starlet? Or would you rather a deep and satisfying relationship with a woman which will grow even as you do? Hey, I'm not asexual, nor particularly prudish about erotica, but I know I want a loving relationship. I know I want to drink from the cup of life. It sounds like a comment from either of our mothers, but I doubt you can wake up one morning and say "Now I want that deep relationship". I suspect the relationships you get are the ones you choose, and the life and interests you choose dictate the reservoir of people you meet, and the range of relationships you can choose from.
Here's your chance to get up me about being judgmental, but other people are making choices all the time as well. Who will be around waiting for you, after you have bagged half the adult entertainment industry's most beautiful women?
11/30/97 I had an argument with a friend via AOL's Immediate Message technology:
LUZDEDOS: Every day I get heartfelt thanks on my page...so gratifying. Here's an example.
It's better than Boogie Nights...much better. I'm going to read some more. Fascinating.
Luke, thanks for the info. I kind of feel like an idiot, about two hours after I posted that blistering message of frustration about not being able to find a good site on this subject, I stumbled across yours!!! It's EXACTLY what I was looking for!! Thanks alot....
FRIEND: MazelTov. Kudos from preverts. Must be very gratifying. :->
LUZDEDOS: F--- you. I just read in this new book that porn stars etc are the closest thing that many people get to having real sex...which touched me...and accounts for the heartfelt emails I get and all the mail porn stars get...
FRIEND: I agree totally. Sad, but useful.
LUZDEDOS: Sad maybe but not pathetic... It is the human condition... Men are built constantly desiring sex and porn stars are the only ones who will share with us our deepest needs...
FRIEND: I've never thought twice about the private life of any porn stars I've "utilized". Moderation is critical to assessing the health of anything.
LUZDEDOS: Europe has far more of this stuff than we do, and far more raunchy than we have, and they have far less crime... Porn may take a SPIRITUAL toll...
FRIEND: Remember the concept of chipping away at our character.
LUZDEDOS: There is no connection between porn and character...it may chip away at our SOUL, or spirit.
FRIEND: Some men need only a little chipping away to erode a tenuous character.
LUZDEDOS: True, but that applies to everything, bad religion, music, TV. There is no evidence between masturbation (which is use of porn) and ethical decline.
FRIEND: I would suggest that, if I use porn five times in a week, I am less sexually stimulated by my gilrfriend. That affects my relationship, and she will feel the diminishmment of passion, or notice that she is less able to stimulate me.
FRIEND: That is destructive, if not unethical. You begin to train yourself that perfect bodies are the only ones that can stimulate you. That's bad for choosing a mate, especially if you're not particularly attractive yourself
LUZDEDOS: I see no necessary correlation between use of porn and decrease passion for real thing...
I have immersed myself in porn, and am totally open as much as ever to real thing...
I don't believe that healthy people let porn affect them that way...
That is a character flaw, from TV advertising, much more present than porn. Porn is irrelevant to above flaw
FRIEND: I am healthy, and I sense it. I watch almost NO TV, and NO commercials. I watch pre-recorded stuf only now.
LUZDEDOS: Yeah, but you were already predisposed that way.. You have very narrow limits, like many guys, on what turns you on...you like them slim
FRIEND: So, for many guys, porn is dangerous.
LUZDEDOS: Porn did not create or exacerbate that. You liked that without porn.
FRIEND: It can make it worse, yes.
LUZDEDOS: The girls you like are far skinnier than the ones who dominate porn.
FRIEND: Not true- you can find skinny girls in porn easily.
LUZDEDOS: Most porn STARS are not skinny.
FRIEND: The point is, when you've been using porn all week, you will be less sensitive to erotic stimulation that you otherwise would have. That is not really debateable.
LUZDEDOS: I am constantly amazed how strict men are in their search for their female TYPE...porn may add to this... sure...
But it is primarily a matter of individual character and values, not inanimate things like porn and its use.
Porn is completely different from real stimulation.
FRIEND: We are ALL subject to progressive desensitization.
LUZDEDOS: yes, but porn desensitizes you to PICTURES not necessarily reality. I am just as sensitive to the real thing.
FRIEND: If you lived in a porn free world, you would be just as sexually stimulated by a naked real woman the first time you saw one?
LUZDEDOS: Basically, yes...
FRIEND: You are a freak, then. When men go to war, the last dead man they see is less stimulating than the first. If I've been masturbating excessively all week, my girlfriend will have a less sexually sensitive man in her bed, period.
FRIEND: Would be important research for you to do..... "Porn use in the male animal."
LUZDEDOS: Why don't you post this to rec.arts.movies.erotica and see about others' experiences?
FRIEND: It is dangerous to use the opinions of someone who has a vested interest in finding no dangers in porn to decide the issue.
LUZDEDOS: Who is "someone?" A poster on that group?
FRIEND: I don't spend time there- please feel free to use this IM to elicit responses.
Anyone on that list may have a vested interest in finding porn harmless.
I think you'll STILL find overwhelming support for my statements.
LUZDEDOS: Sure, as religious folks have a vested interest in finding it harmful.
On December 8, Australian Henry Weld replied to one of my posts on RAME:
Luke asked:
> three pornographic classics appeared: La Puttana Errante, L'Ecole des Filles, and Satya. What do these titles mean in English?
Puttana loosely translates as "a weak-minded man of the scholarly class" and Errante as "Lazy". It's the story of a writer who always lies back and lets his lovers get on top and do all the work for him. He gets his come-uppance towards the end of the book when a publisher demands the writer satisfy him or he will not publish his book. The writer, so used to being the passive lovemaker, cannot get it up when asked to perform in the more rigorous active position and is sent away in shame. Currently being adapted for the screen as Luke Ford's History Of X.
12-22
Me and my big mouth. I caused a mini scandal by criticizing one of my heroes on an internet post. As a writer since my childhood, I've often gotten into trouble for publicly commenting about events and issues in ways that directly or indirectly criticize those close to me.
After pouring out my heart to a friend via email, he sent me this reply, entitled "Hey Jude." [Judas, get it.]
Oh my oh my!!! Nietzsche and Wagner ! Watch it or you'll be kicked out of Wahnfreid house and unable to attend Cosima's soirees. The Meister's avid disciples are sensitive and can detect a Judas.
This is not to imply that they are not nice people with much to offer. I mean disagreeing out of the bounds of the permitted field of doctrinaire nitpicking is bad enough. Disagreeing still tolerable as it is necessary for conversation and the "body life" of the "ecclasia" ("church").
But criticism? And in public! Why that might be misunderstood! You see how it works?
Inappropriate views cogently expressed in the private space of "The List" is soiling the sacred halls. But of course there are enough "clubmen" to beat you up, or, if matters get out of hand, tell you not to post.
So then inappropriate views expressed in public space? Well Nooooo! We are assured (usually second hand) that the Master is deeply hurt and you give countenance to the enemy. If you check with him yourself of course he agrees but often because his views and your actions have ALREADY been mediated and interpreted fo him by close associates anxious to sooth the discomfort.
"Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. To obey is better than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams."
Of course Samuel was using this agrement standing AGAINST the authority and ACTION of King Saul. Much better now to twist the scripture for use BY authority against the SPEECH of the dis-established.
Now it could be that you ARE just a rebel. (But probably not a serious deadly dangerous heretic one but more like an artist jester or Loki or coyote man the trickster or the gadfly) OR IT COULD BE that you ACTUALLY SEE something and felt constrained to announce those thoughts and observations.
But in what forum? Public and private expression are "inappropriate or hurtful". A paradox and impasse!
Hey I got it, a seasonal idea!
Mary at the Annunciation she paraphrased the Song of Deborah spontaneously spouting the Magnificat (a document with some political content about justice and expression for the weak). It is in private and only the angels hear. After the shepherds and wisemen visit Mary "keeps and ponders all these things in her heart".
Of course sometimes meditating in silence is as likely to give birth to a new "religion" as it is to lead Luther to "adjust his views" and come into conformance...
Now I am not really much of a talk show listener. I think they have value but they aren't on par with serious books. Just as various pop culture, psychology and self help books are somewhat useful but of limited value.
As Paul said about exercise. "Bodily exercise profiteth a little."
There is a comfortable watering down and it happens faster in South California. At a certain point - to point this out is discomforting.
An interruption at the festivities and the feast.
As Nabal said to David's young men. "And who is this guy anyway. There are lately lots of unemployed fellows around these parts".
It could be that though you are not "ready" for life as an anchorite, hermit or monk. You ARE a bit dissatisfied with the repetitious blather and talk and social tempests in a teapot over an intrusive serious note.
I commend a bit more reading to you!
One day I will have to write "the Book of Remonstrance". This would contain accounts such as:
The 'suasions Nebuchadnezzers councilors explained to the highly valued three Hebrew children to persuade them to "act right" for the encore orchestral performance.
Texts based on employer and other company officials trying to persuade a valued employee to take a disciplinary demotion for his "errors" segueng to a firing but trying to get the employee to resign rather than collect severance.
The true account of a Rosecrutian, an accountant and "Seeker" who came to the headquarters to work directly for the wise and good people of the Brotherhood and Order. But found them imperfect and did he not quite fit in the pecking order. The poor guy lost his faith and the power to levitate large stone blocks!
..All the sorts of things IN FORM similar to your "I need to think more about the points you guys raised.." Hmmn maybe a literary sequel to Job but dealing not with the "problem of suffering" but of the MORE DIFFICULT problem of "conversation, conformance and persuasion".
Anyway savor the delicious remonstrances and rebukes. They make fine texts.
Also I have been looking diligently with concordance for the Proverbs
"To criticize is to stab in the back"
or the
"Beware friends who criticize and remonstrate with them extensively in appalling kindness".
Do you suppose they are Apocryphal? Or maybe they are lost in the Gnostic library buried in Elephantine, Egypt.
Is a cautionary note warning of lack of substance that harmful? Is this to become a Rush Limbaugh cult?
And yes ,wouldn't it be nice to keep inaccuracies to private communication. That will impress 'em.
Clear everything first!
The warning of "talk that is not speech at all" cannot come too soon!
They complain but maybe you did some good.
Your strategic mistake? Your attention getting grabber. I'll bet that the header is taken as a literal topic sentence and it is so loud a zinger they cant hear the forest for the tree. Leave it to media people to take a phrase out of context!
You can be treated like this because you are NOT a peer. You were supposed to merely follow and repeat. You noticed that there was already enough repetition....
Be not a "men pleaser as the manner of some are" and take an antiacid O Timotheous and get a cast iron stomach!
Now then comes the psychologizing. (Talk about hurtful. Doesn't that count!?) Any truth in it is happy accident at your weakest vulnerable points (and I don't mean the arguments!) and has no bearing on the truth. They are being "charitable" to you by not giving your ideas credit.
You know Luther had constipation and discovered that "the just shall live by faith" on the pot. So what of the accident of the idea? That's trivial.
Luke "we're concerned for you. Repent and have good only thoughts!"
Reading your actual text it seems about 90% non-malicious and the 10% can't be edited out. If you had intended worse in a fit of pique, you did not succeed.
>Perhaps you write things publicly to see if people care about what you have to say............a >validation of your worth (as in the case of your scathing piece on >your father printed in a mainstream Seventh Day Adventist journal).
>You like to shock people, in your actions and your words - verbal and written.
>I have always known that about you. You don't have to shock people to remind them you are alive.
>A good dose of kindness is unusual >enough these days, and it will make a more lasting and welcoming >impression.
Why do you say such naughty things? Be quiet and that makes a big impression? YOU, by your disposition.... ARE going to be uncomfortable with most any people's up-close disapproval as you by your disposition seek BOTH their attention and approval.
(See I can psychologize too!)
Let it suffice that what you say have a good amount of truth in it.
Luke I'm sorry but this sounds too familiar. I think I have seen it far too often. Mostly observing the pattern as a third person.
In short I think this is more a tempest in a teacup and a social brouhaha to pass the time than anything else.
Now I am sure you have your faults and for instance might well deliberately but thoughtlessly publicize private information that could disrupt the balance of private lives.(Considering especially people's inclination to make mountains out of molehills and cause themselves needless grief worrying about their neighbors' or friends' sins!!!)
Nor do I wish be Oedipus' father figure or to lead you astray.
Now I don't mean to be unkind or excessively caustic or acid. I respect and feel kindly toward these associates of yours. But gentile irony is NOT out of order.
"Pornographer" Candida Royalle wrote to me at the end of 1997:
"Despite the fact that I find your material incredibly mean-spirited I will offer the following correction: PHE did not buy my line, they received the exclusive licensing rights for a limited time; and they did not demand that I make "harder" films. They have given me complete artistic freedom.
"I really have little to say to you. You seem to revel in the put downs and completely refuse to believe that I am doing this with sincerely positive intentions. Nor do you want to believe that women really are interested and enjoying my work as are the countless men who write and thank me for creating work they can share with their partners. You must have something invested in continuing to promote a negative image of the industry. You certainly seem obsessed with it and hoping to make money off of it in our own way.
"From what I've read, I doubt you'll ever find a publisher, at least not one of any significance. But even if you do, I will take comfort in what Time magazine essayest Roger Rosenblatt recently said to me: He told me that eventually all writers and journalists who are negative and take pleasure in trashing and hurting others in print are run out of the business because when it comes down to it, no one really likes or puts up with that for long. Besides, it's usually the writers that are lacking in real talent who must resort to that sort of thing.
"I had actually heard
about you already. Word has already spread that you seek to expose and
hurt. It's people like YOU who make ME lose faith in human-kind. Please
don't correspond with me again as I find it much too upsetting."
